[carrie]

My husband has always been a functioning alcholic , in the summer of  2022 told me has been sexually assaulted 18 months ago , his drinking then got worse , and he lost his business .  Although I tried to support him , things just got worse  and worse.   I told him to leave in Jan 2023. He left and then kept asking to come back , 2 days later he used extreme violence to try to enter the home whilst me and the children inside.

Police were called,  arrest made . I pressed charges , started injuction to keep myself and children safe.  3 months on stupidly maybe I decided to drop charges etc . I then started to resume contact etc.

We sarted  to meet up, text , although live separately. He promised he had stopped drinking and all he wanted to do was get back to us , looking back now as I write this , I don’t think he ever stopped

Anyway the next 3 to 4 months he got no better,  lost his job, lost his home and I had to call police several times as constantly at the houses,  knocking , banging on windows etc.

I’ve now cut all contact and started divorce proceedings.

I actually came on hear to ask why after all this do I feel sad/bad I couldn’t do more . But now I’m just upset 20 + years together , I just feel sad , it was all lies really…

[EllieMae12]

I can understand your deep sadness, twenty years plus is a long time to share your life with someone.  As you say you could do no more and I think many of us here would probably say the same of our own experience, so why do we feel so sad?  The closer you are to someone and the longer you are with them the more it hurts and the more frustrated we feel, even though we know we have done everything we can. You have made a courageous decision – I don’t know if you have any family to support you, I hope so.  Most of us come on here as we are all in similar situations – and sometimes it is a bit of a relief to communicate with people who can really relate to what is happening to us.  I think most of us feel emotionally and physically drained and it can certainly be a very lonely place to be in these situations.  All I can say is that you are not alone and this is a site at least where we can come together and voice our thoughts.  Post any time you do feel lonely and know that many of us here are in similar situations where we feel at our wits end, it may be a husband, a son, mother etc. who has the problem but we all understand the heartache and devastation that their addictions cause.

[Author]

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