[paul0572]

Just spoke to my ex partner who is in her last day of rehab for coke addiction. She basically told me she never wants to speak to me ever again and I’m her biggest trigger . I’ve damaged my own health over this last 2 years trying to help her and get her off this stuff and now it’s all my fault . I’m heart broken

[redfox20]

Hi Paul, sorry to read this. I often think if im a trigger to my ex’s use as it’s sometimes to painful to reminded of what you have lost, or the hurt you have caused. She could be trying to push you away intentionally as she may know she’s only going to hurt you in the future by relapsing I could be wrong. I have heard of people in rehab turning against loved ones as it’s easier to blame them then take responsibility. Stay strong walk away, you haven’t any children together or no ties, it will hurt but times a healer.

[paul0572]

She’s definitely destroyed our relationship and shes said before she can’t look at me cos of how hurt I am because of her

Also when I first told her family how addicted she was , she denied it all and just blamed it on me saying I was over exaggerating and she only did it once or twice because of our toxic relationship …wasn’t toxic until she started using …

She’s comming out tomorrow after 3 weeks of rehab and I think she’s planting the seed to be the victim again as she had to go to rehab as she finally admitted it to her mum who told her whole family , so she had no where else to turn . But I think she’s worried about comming out hence why it’s time to make me look like the bad guy again .

She really doesn’t care about hurting me , some of the things shes said to me are things that I never thought she could say after everything I’ve done for her over the years

[redfox20]

It really does destroy all relationships as once that trust is gone it’s so hard to get it back. It takes a lot of time and hard work on their part to achieve sobriety before they can ever be truly happy in any relationship. It does seem she’s pushing you away, as maybe these past few weeks she’s finally been able to see clearly without the drugs and is most likely ashamed of what she’s done to you. Denial is what they will do they will say your crazy anything to admit they dont have a problem, I think it’s scary admitting to themselves they have lost control. Time will tell if she stays clean but it’s her problem and it’s not something anyone can control only she can. I would just step right back and do your own thing, and what’s meant to be will be. But once you detach you will find that mentally you will feel so much better it will take time but you will!

[paul0572]

She doesn’t seem ashamed at all . She’s just got bk now and her autny has told me she was slagging me off to death in her nans saying it was all my fault ! Even tho when she was doing it she would tell me it was because of her mum and dad and her child hood trauma . But when I first told her grandparents she’s through me under the bus then . I just can’t believe someone would do this to someone who has been there for them through everything and take no responsibility for it ! She won’t spit on me if I was on fire now

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