[bellabear]

I have been with my partner for almost 11 year now and we have two beautifull children together 5 year ago he had a drink problem (I’m sure drugs aswell) and became very violent when drunk, very distant and just basically a horrible person we broke up due to social services getting involved and threatening to take my children ect. We were apart for just over a year and all seemed well the drinking had stopped and we gave it another go but… over a year ago the drinking started again he denies drinking all of the time and denies he has any problem at all he also abuses prescription medication and is just a down right nasty person he hides bottles steals money from me he goes on the day after an episode as if nothing has happened and all is fine my children are petrified of him when his drunk (he wouldn’t harm them btw) so the other day he was drinking and fighting with someone in my street I have sent the kids to there grandmothers just incase anything flares up because I dont know what has happened he wont tell me and I’m trying to get another house to get away I’m really struggling to find somewhere I cant do anymore for him he wont admit he has the problem and doesnt care about anybody but himself we need a fresh start thanks for reading I just needed to get it all off my chest

[nk123]

Feel your pain going through the same thing (though no kids) I’m stuck between leaving (or kicking him out rather) and being patient! His family pressurise a lot saying it will get better we will talk to him but nothing gets sorted

[dxb]

There are so many of us on here who can truly understand the nightmare of loving an addict. My husband is goodness only knows where since I called the police on Tuesday – when he had an ‘ episode ‘ and became dangerous – the Police arrested him and I am refusing to have him back. Sounds so simple – if only it was!! I spend hours of the day sobbing, worrying about him , feeling guilty for making him leave and trying to be strong to do ‘ tough love’ – it is so hard when you have built a life together, belived that Any change ‘the addict’ seemed to have made was real and that things really had got better and you were now safe and could rebuild trust and your relationship again. Your story breaks my heart. You are so strong for keeping going and for keeping your kids with you. I am so sorry to hear that your kids have witnessed his abhorrent, selfish behaviour, but thank goodness they have you and their grandparents to keep them safe. Are you safe yourself ? Has he reacted to you sending the kids to their grandparents ? ( I only ask because whenever I say to my husband what measures I take to keep myself safe , he acts all ‘ offended’ and hurt as he says that he would never intentionally put me in danger and frighten me – he sometimes then gets quite nasty ) . I think it is fantastic that you have made sure your kids are in a safe place and I really hope you are OK too.

I hope that you can soon find a new home – as although I know the emotional hurt, wounds and worry will not go away instantly , at least you will have a place where you are safe and free to care for yourself and your kids. Please know that no one on here is alone. X

[bellabear]

Thanks for your reply it’s nice to have someone to talk to i feel as though I’m safe if he doesnt drink his not happy about sending the kids away but I quite frankly couldn’t care less what he thinks they are not happy and not safe around him this silly behaviour has caused conflicts with the neighbours in the street and I feel as though they will do something to my house out of revenge hich is also putting the boys at risk I’m in desperate need of a house to move into it’s so frustrating every house we have moved into we have had to move out because of him x

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