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    • #6045
      mand81
      Participant

      Hi, I’m 38. just joined as things have for that bad for me I’ve hit rock bottom. I’ve always turned to drink to destruct myself due to various reasons including childhood trauma with an alcoholic violent father, a bad relationship with someone that sent me crazy and just a few days ago the love of my life boyfriend left because he couldn’t deal with it anymore after 3 years of trying to help me. He did every he could but I get why he’s gone. I’m in such a bad place right now. I’ve rang the doctors today and am getting referred to a councillor and they suggested horizons for the alcohol misuse. Just wanted some chat from people who have been in similar situations and what they’ve been through and how they came out the other side. Thanks

    • #18129
      bt1978
      Participant

      Hey mand

      Welcome and thanks for sharing

      That’s alot you have going on there.

      I’m assuming you want to quit drinking and straighten out?

      • #18136
        mand81
        Participant

        Hey ! Thanks for replying. Yeh a lot of issues I need to sort so I don’t turn to drink, to drink Cos I think I hate myself. I definitely have to stop drinking and never touch a drop again, otherwise I will continue to act the same way. You wouldn’t believe the amount of things I’ve messed up when drunk, it’s embarrassing…events, occasions, even a funeral wake ????

      • #18137
        mand81
        Participant

        I don’t blame my boyfriend for leaving me, he tried to help. Maybe he was here to show me to my self so I could love myself more. It’s taken him leaving for me to actually be shocked into quitting the demon drink!

    • #18139
      bt1978
      Participant

      My advice is learn to stop the drinking first, then deal with the u see lying issues if you can. There are a number of ways to do this if you are interested?

      • #18144
        mand81
        Participant

        That’s definitely what I need to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you

    • #18145
      bt1978
      Participant

      OK sure.

      When I stopped drinking, 12 years ago, I did so with the help of AA. That helped me understand why I drank, that I didn’t need to drink again, and how I could sort my life out and live going forward. I also did alot of counselling for trauma and abuse from childhood too.

      There are a ton of AA meetings online at the moment, you need a zoom account and can log in and just listen. I found it super helpful to be around people that had been where I was and sorted themselves out.

      It’s not for everyone mind, but we’ll worth a shot.

      Take things a day at a time, I know you said you have a ton of stuff to sort out which is great, just focus on one thing at a time.

      You can definitely stop drinking and sort it all out, I know this as I have done it (and with other substances)

      • #18146
        mand81
        Participant

        Sounds like great advice and what I had in mind anyway. I have been looking on the AA website. On zoom; can u just listen in as u say or do people see you? Do you have to talk if you don’t want to?

        And I am waiting to hear when my counciling will start to try deal with my other issues.

        Well done for your 12 years! That’s so great.

    • #18147
      bt1978
      Participant

      For zoom you can just log in and remain off cam. If anyone asks you can just say you are new and that’s it, you are under no obligation to talk or participate unless you want to of course. My advice is do a few and sit and listen, try not to judge (it’s hard at first) and hopefully you can identify with what you hear. It’s always good to be around people the same as you.

      I don’t subscribe to just one method, I thee everything at it, AA, counselling, trauma work – all sorts. Its your life at the end of the day and it’s worth something!

      • #18161
        mand81
        Participant

        I think it would definitely be helpful to listen to others experiences! I think I’m going to sign up for first one next Tuesday!! Thanks for being so kind

    • #18162
      bt1978
      Participant

      No problem.

      Meetings are on all at every day just get a list from the site. Let us know how you get on and good luck

      • #18176
        mand81
        Participant

        Thank you, will do

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