[allyb]

My older son at 25 He hasn’t message me for a few months So I asked him yesterday if I upset him and is ignoring me or is it drugs…as a joke. He said yes mum I have developed a bit of an addiction to ice. I thought he was going along with my joke and I soon realised the truth. So all day yesterday I was just numb today I just want to drive to him (Which legally is not allowed because of Covid ) and rescue My baby I also want to slap him and say wake up.

I know I can do neither but just play it cool and be calm when he does text me back. I want to scream I want to cry I wanna blame everyone and everything for his situation. There is nothing that can be done except sit and wait for him to make the choice to be clean or die.

It sounds like his very early into his stage so I have not even begun the rollercoaster.

I just want to wash my hands of him now because I know it’s going nowhere until he’s ready for HELP. How long does a mother hold onto that hope?

[lindyloo]

Hi Allyb

It must have come as a shock to you. Most of us have seen the tell tale sign of substance abuse in our sons/daughters. Never having any money, bad debts, loss of interest in hobbies, different friends, bit unkempt, change of attitude usually a bad one!

Its so difficult , as you see your child making all these bad choices and because they’re adults, you can’t really stop them.

Maybe he is just starting out, he might be able to stop it. He needs ti admit he has a problem first, and seek help on this forum or CA or NA meetings online or face to face where possible.

Read the other threads here, there is so much support and advice from others. I think he needs to be frank with you, addicts are such good liars and manipulators.

Hopefully he wil see sense and seek help, it has to be his decision though. Then you can support him as best you can.

Hope this helps. Take care and try not to worry, look after yourself.

Lx

[allyb]

Yes well he told me via msg that he does have a drug problem. He lives in another area in Australia and because of Covid and I am not allowed to enter the state. I haven’t seen him in over 8 months so in that time he started using. I never got to see the changes.

[lindyloo]

I think its good to have some extra contact with him. Eg Skype, video call. At least you would see him and see how he’s coping.

Perhaps look into what support is available for him should he ask for it, at least you’ll be prepared.

There are people in recovery on this forum too, Perhaps they could suggest some help.

Danman83 suggested some podcasts and videos from recovering addicts. I’m sure he could google them. Online NA or C A meetings would help too. He’d meet others in the same situation.

Its a worry when it’s your child, but let him know you’re here to try to help as best you can.

Sending you hugs

Lx

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