[nessa]

Apologies to start with this is long story

My husband has always been a heavy drinker

Last summer he began drinking more and more mainly with my so called best friend

He started acting out of character and kept going missing

Two weeks ago he went missing again and texted to say he was going to kill him self

Police were called and he was policed sectioned overnight after drinking a bottle of scotch and 15 Stella’s

All the mental health team and gp have told him he must stop drinking and through this he told me he had slept with my so called best friend whilst drunk

He agreed to stop drinking go to relate,get help with his mental health and to get tested for std’s

He has done 12 days without drinking .on return from 4 days away together he has started drinking

I am at a loss of what to do and feel I can’t talk to friends for fear of myself being judged

[nessa]

Update – argument just happened he can’t see why I’m angry so he packs a bag a has left

Not answering his phone to the children

[doctors-wife]

How are things now Nessa?

It sounds awful for you. Objectively though – your friends are not your friends if they judge you. Your husband is ill – not horrid. When we are anaesthetised we do strange things – behave out of character – see the alcohol as the cause of your pain, not your husband. Try to stay strong.

Maybe the argument was a lever for him to go off and do what he wanted to at that time (drink? see the other woman? or just escape the guilt of confronting what he is struggling with). Impossible to say , so be clear and objective. Set boundaries and don’t shift from them. If you love him, tell him so, but also tell him what he must do to sort out the problems.

If the children are young, then keep them out of it as much as you can.

Sending you good wishes…..

[Author]

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