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April 23, 2022 at 9:21 pm #7406anonymousgirlParticipant
Hey, so I just need somewhere to vent and see if someone has gone through something similar.
Since the age of 12 I’ve had a weird relationship with alcohol. At age 16 I broke down to my dad because I couldn’t stop drinking, I was drinking every weekend, drinking weekdays at school and after school. The same throughout college too. Then I stopped drinking for quite a while but would drink every now and then. I’m now nearly 25 and the last 2 years everytime I’ve drank alcohol I’ve heavily binge drinked. I’ll go out at 1pm and won’t get home until 8am. The next day or 2 I’ll be shakey, have blurred vision, pins and needles in my hands.
I wouldn’t say I’m addicted to the point I feel like I need a drink everyday but when I do have a drink I find it very hard to stop. I can’t drink in moderation and just have a couple. I’ve said to myself and those around me that I’m not going to drink again, the more I say that the more I think about alcohol.
Ideally, I’d like to be able to just go out and have 1 or 2 drinks and be able to stop but how do I do that? I struggle so much. I can’t go out with friends and see them drinking without having a drink myself, difference is they get a bit drunk and go home but I can’t stop so I continue drinking excessive amounts until the point I can barely function. I think I enjoy it so much because when I am drunk I forget about all of the stress and bad things in life. But in the long run the binge drinking is making extra problems for me, especially with my loved ones.
What do I do? Is there help out there for someone like me?
Thanks for reading.
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April 24, 2022 at 8:25 am #28115danman83Participant
Hiya anonymous girl, I’m Danny and I’m over 4 month clean from cocaine now and alcohol. I was never a bad drinker or I’d say alcoholic but I have had to admit I am an alcoholic as well. As it comes hand in hand.
Just reading your story I get a lot from it and seen it with loads of people. So I joined cocaine anonymous and I work a 12 step programme. And it’s keeping me clean..
There are some keys things in your story that stand out.. Since 12 you have had a strange relationship with alcohol, also your not that bad to wear u drink every day.
1st of you can be an addict if u use once a week or alcoholic. If I said to you now go 2 month without it. Do u think u could? Prob not but I don’t know you. Plus this relationship since 12. That just sounds like a alcoholic talking. Alot of drinking and drugs using is caused by childhood trauma.
This can be summat small from, bullying, not liking how we look, a death, then to big things like abuse.
So if you go to cocaine anonymous or alcoholics annonymous and work a 12 step programme. And get a sponsor we address these under lying issues and it helps.
Also you now need to change your daily routeing now, cut all friends out u drink with. Or don’t go with them when they drink, do some new hobbies, eat healthy. Get to some meetings. Plenty of meditation.
All this will sound weird but I am telling u now this helps.
What u learn in C. A and A. A is us addicts have an allergy to drink and drugs we’re people u know can have 1 drink and go home. Me and you have to have more and more till there’s nothing left. This is called an allergy in the book we learn.
So my opinion is admit your an alcoholic, get the help and cut people off, work on your self, admit you can’t drink again. I promise you this, your life will be so much better with out drink. You will feel alot happier and it will go well for you. Just put the effort in and it will work.
But if u don’t admit u are an alcoholic and u want help, you are always gonna be like this. Hope this helps. Feel free to ask me anything
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