[angelia]

I got married mid-July this year to a man I met and fell in love with 2 years ago. The problem is, that 18 months ago, he relapsed. I was aware that he was in recovery but had never seen him drunk. We got together and became a couple during this relapse. I feel stupid for marrying a man I had never been with whilst he was sober.

He has been sober for 4 weeks now and I feel awful that I am not happier. I thought that things would be so much better when he was sober. Whilst the verbal abuse is no longer, there is still no romance or passion. I had attributed their absence to his alcohol use. It doesn’t feel like a marriage or partnership. I remind myself that it is still VERY early days in his recovery and our marriage. I catch myself asking, when will it be time for my emotional needs to be met? If this is the best the marriage is going to get, as much as I care for this man, I cannot stay and settle. I feel so guilty at the thought of abandoning him and the possibility that he will relapse if I do.

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