[lottie90]

This is the first time I’ve reached out to anyone about this.

My husband has had issues with alcohol for years. Periods of excessive drinking broken up with periods of sobriety. He’s currently drinking at least half a large bottle of gin every night. On weekends or days he doesn’t work he drinks 3/4s to a full bottle.

He manages to hold down a full time respectable job because quite frankly he’s used to it. However, there have been a couple of times that he’s woken up late and had to make some excuse.

He insists that he does not have a problem because he only drinks on an evening. He doesn’t HAVE to drink every night. Last week I asked him to stay sober after I got out of hospital because he needed to look after me. He got angry and sulked but he did stay sober. He was back on the gin the next night.

We have a baby together. He believes he’s entitled to have a drink and that I will look after our daughter. His words.

I was brought up with an alcoholic mother. I don’t want that for my kids. But he won’t listen to me. I love him so much but I just feel like he doesn’t care. He’s in denial, completely. How do I get through to him before it’s too late?

[bt1978]

Hey thanks for the post

I’m thirteen years sober next month so know a little about how this works.

It isn’t so much about how much, or holding down a job lots of us managed to get around that, it’s the reasons why and how it’s impacting his family.

Have you tried to sit down and tell him how this is impacting you and the baby directly? Children are both parents responsibility

[lindyloo]

Hi Bt1978

I think we spoke before. Congratulations on your 13 years sobriety, that’s brilliant. It gives us all hope to hear that.

My son has cocaine and alcohol addictions. He’s currently in early recovery 4+ months.

He attends meetings regularly and has a sponsor and doing the steps. I just needed some advice on what to say to him sometimes.

Tonight for example, he met some of his original friends, they know his issues but met up to organise an up an coming celebration.

He wasn’t drinking but I think the meeting up with them caused him some discomfort and it unsettled him. He came in all negative and had a right rant about how his life is rubbish now. He can’t do what they do etc. He stormed off and I didn’t know what to say to make it easier for him. I just gave him a hug.

I’m guessing meeting up with previous drinking buddies is a no -no. I’m worried that it’s going to trigger a relapse and the thought of this fills me with dread.

He told us he could handle meeting with them but I guess not.

I think he was hopefully going to a meeting.

I just don’t know what to do or say sometimes. Any suggestions?

Lx

[lottie90]

Thank you for replying.

I’ve told him numerous times about how his drinking impacts his family. He accuses me of ‘criticising’ him and over exaggerated the situation. He is in complete denial about the situation. He believes that because he’s a good dad when he’s sober it justifies him being able to drink. He believes he’s just winding down at the end of the day.

[bt1978]

That’s sad to hear and the denial is powerful . Does anyone in his family have a way in to talk to him and support you?

[Author]

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