[mawbs74]

Hi,

I have a husband who as always taken some form of drug for most of his life.

But he works in the ambulance service on shift work. So his excuse has been that he needs it to help him sleep. At first it is weed or a drink after his shift when he gets back in the morning. Then I started finding diazepam in pill form, then when he couldn’t get the pill form he was using the anal application one. This has been going on for around 9 years. I have tried to be there for him, we have been to relate, I have said I would support him if he got help, I have tried to make him face that he has a problem in so many ways. But as we all know it has to come from him. He brushes it off and says that loads of people do it. Then blames me. I decided about 5 years ago that our relationship was over and he has been sleeping in the spare room since. We have a 9 year old son. So I thought for financial reasons it was best if we could live in the house separately.

The other day our son came down in the morning with a can of beer from his room. At this point I realised that I am normalising his behaviour and enabling. Setting my an awful example of what a relationship is. After that our son has been taking coffee and toast to him. I can see this is his way of looking after him and checking on him. I pointed this out to my husband but he couldn’t see the link and how bad it was.

Then later last night while he was working I went through his room. There were crushed beer cans hidden down the side of the bed, legal medication and a bottle of morphine sulphate.

I am not sure how to confront him as he could spiral into feeling worthless and think it would be better if he weren’t here. Should I talk to his sister? Send him back home so he can make a plan? I can’t have this around our son. Smoking weed in the garden before taking him on a play date.

Do I find him somewhere to live?

I just don’t know what to do.

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