[Marb43]

Hi everyone, I have realised over the past 10 months that my 26 year old son has been struggling with alcohol. Having grown up with a heavy drinking father I wanted to protect my kids from the notional abuse that I had received so chose an alcohol free life, I didn’t like the taste anyway thankfully.

My brother has been an alcoholic for 28 years and my younger sister passed away 4 years ago at the age of 45 in horrendous circumstances. I just don’t know where to turn as this has become an issue since my son got into a new relationship after separating from his fiancée, they are toxic together and are always arguing but she started bringing spirits to his house and we’ve had hell ever since. She made a false allegation against him which she later dropped as he wanted out of the relationship but she threatened to ruin his life. Due to this allegation where he had his daughter 5 days a week he was only allowed supervised access 1 day a week for a few hours (my granddaughters mum set this, not social services) to teach him a lesson. He moved in with us straight after the allegation and he was like a different person but since the allegation has dropped he’s been back in contact with her and has been drinking heavily, I even had to call a paramedic 10 days ago due to him blacking out after a bottle of gin and having a head injury. I refused to let him back in the house after this as it was so scary and it gives me PTSD to my childhood. My granddaughters mum has told him that if he continued the relationship with this girl that he would lose all access due to his heavy drinking and I support that decision as much as I miss my beautiful granddaughter she is safe.
My son was sleeping rough last week as he had nowhere to go so I thought he’d finally hit rock bottom, he asked me to go to the GP with him and he attended an AA meeting the same evening which he said was very positive and he wants to continue going. My concern is he told me yesterday that they are now engaged to her and she’s trouble (he does stay with her 4 nights a week when she doesn’t have her daughter) I can’t have him here as it scares me and I will also lose grandparent access to my beautiful grandchild who is the innocent in this.

I feel as if I’m being pulled both ways as I really want to help my sons recovery if I can but not sure if I’ll be able to with this girl in his life. Also I cannot lose my grandchild as she means so much to us and we adore her. I’m really torn and can’t see a way through at the moment.

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