[lizzlethafrizzle]

My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years in the beginning we both used cocaine, it made me absolutely miserable plus I wanted to move on with my life like have a family get married, we both spent way too much money and I thought we were on the same page where we were both quitting.. but to him that meant keeping in contact with people that have it, and occasionally just not coming home. Or maybe coming home sleeping on the couch and then as soon as I leave for work he gets high all day..

this is gone on the entirety of our relationship he doesn’t use every day but once or twice a month. Sometimes more than that.. every single time he would lie to my face. He would make things up to cover his tracks..

The beginning of the year was going really well until August his friend who is supposed to be blocked contacted him, my boyfriend let him he wanted to get high, at this point are new if none of this, when I walked into the place of my boyfriends company his drug dealer was sitting there…

at this point I think that I have PTSD because I started shaking uncontrollably I had to actually step out of the room so I wouldn’t start crying..

I pulled my boyfriend aside and he made more promises to me and more lies.. About how his friend just stopped and it has nothing to do with him buying drugs..

well of course come to find out the next day was a Friday and his birthday was over the weekend I got us a nice hotel room and asked him if he would be available at three and he said yes.. but of course when it came down to getting ready he comes home and he’s high.. I went and had a nice dinner by myself and stayed in the room alone..

exactly a month later the same scenario happened, except for I was interrogating his friend by saying that I wanted to buy some.. His drug dealer just kept saying talk to your man.. just talk to ur man every time I told him I wanted to buy some

so when I talked to my boyfriend and he tells me of course he doesn’t have anything and he won’t buy anything.. at this point I’m looking at him and I feel like he looks like he’s high.. I asked him to swear if you say it’s for I said swear on my life then he swore on my life, And mothers life.. and come to find out his friend gave him just a couple of free bumps…

so what I gather from all of the This that his priority is not making a family with me it’s doing whatever he can to get high..

So finally I started looking at some apartments but I feel really bad for that. He bought his own business a few years ago and he’s trying to make it work, so right now he is not currently taking a paycheck.

It’s his house that I live in he pays the mortgage, Water insurance etc. I do pay for pet food for our six animals we have together, our food, any kind of household items we need toilet paper cleaner etc.

I also pay for the Internet and electric..

so I have this feeling That’s kind of cringe like if I just get out leaving Him with a whole house alone that we picked out together. Plus there’s work that needs to be done to fix up some things.. So I don’t really know what I’m asking exactly been a situation like this that ever turned out OK?

I don’t see how “a couple of free bumps” was worth swearing on my life and I don’t know how to get past it, also two years ago when I was super sick in the hospital he and my mom were the only ones around my family didn’t come into town even though there are a few hours away so obviously he was stress that he’s trying to run his company obviously I am out of work for sometime but he took time to go and get high twice as I was literally septic in the hospital out of my mind on Pain medicine where I was literally seeing animals walk around and I thought that he had kidnapped me and took me to Mexico.. I can’t ever imagine leaving someone that I loved in the hospital to go and get high, so with everything time after time after time of him doing the same shit making the same promises he still doesn’t go to meetings he doesn’t have a plan of action to stay sober he still has his friend contact him..

From anyone’s experience is there any hope or should I leave

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