[leighdawes]

My father who is 84 has had a problem with alcohol most of his life but seems to be really bad recently. He drinks secretly but denies it even though he’s slurring and can’t stand up straight. I hate going to see him as i never know what state he will be in. He has promised to stop but carries on. Lost count of the times I have asked him stop but he just carries on.

[paula]

It must be very upsetting I’m so sorry. Poor man! I’m no expert but I think you need to contact his GP and let him know. I have been to see my sons GP to express my concerns without him knowing and he was pretty helpful . He can at least point you in the right direction of support. Good luck!

[leighdawes]

GP is aware as well as mine in the past but to no avail. He has wanted to stop but seems unable. Have lost count of the conversations where he has acknowledged he needs to stop and he will for a short time but always relapses. Too be honest I’m at the end of my tether with him as is my Mum. Nothing seems to work. He’s had physiological help most of his life but had never conquered his problems, depression and anxiety which he self medicates on top of his anti depressants with alcohol.

[paula]

I’m so sorry it’s so hard to understand isn’t it! It sounds very much like my 23 year old son. They are both clearly unwell but can’t seem to find the strength to stick at being sober and clean. I veer from being so angry and frustrated with my son to desperately sorry for him. I wish I had an answer for you x

[leighdawes]

I understand the anger and frustration too! Makes me so cross but love him too all at the same time. He’s an intelligent man, was a former officer in the Navy and is physically very fit for an 84year old, so frustrating.

Your son has his whole life ahead of him, frustrating that he can’t see the opportunities he could have at his age.

Best wishes

[pumpkin]

I am going through something similar with my Dad. I recommend you go to an alanon families meeting. I am going to my 2nd one tomorrow and it helps to hear other peoples stories who have a loved one suffering from alcoholism. You can find a local meeting on their website https://www.al-anonuk.org.uk

Problem with alcoholics is they have to want to help themselves and stop.

[Author]

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