[joanne123]

I’ve dabbled on and off for iver 20 years with coke, but I’ve always had someone with me to say ‘time for bed’ just recently I’ve been doing it alone and can’t stop till its all gone, I’ve wasted so many Sunday’s in a daze and taken sick days from work on the monday, last night i went on one and ruined xmas day, i had to make excuses that i was ill so i could stay home and sniff more. What am i doing its out of hand

[l54321]

Hi Joanne, the fact that you are feeling bad and reaching out says a lot about you acknowledging and wanting to get your habit in check. Only you can change what you’re doing, addiction is a cruel way to have to lead your life and will not only effect you but all who love you. My husband is an alcoholic who I had to call an ambulance for on Christmas Eve with four children in the house. The last week he has been unable to help with any Christmas preparation and I have not even been able to leave the children home as there would not be a responsible adult in the house. He is still in hospital now and whilst our four daughters have had a lovely Christmas, it’s been marred by dad not being here and my Christmas has been completely ruined, add to which my own family have turned around and had a go a me for loving him in the first place. I am exhausted and feeling very alone. While you are in this frame of mind and wanting to change please go with it and take any help on offer to you, I’m sure you would never want to be responsible for making anybody feel how I am and more importantly the shame and disgust that I know my husband is feeling right now, in hospital having been put on oxygen and morphine and waiting for scans to find out what damage has been done. I wish you the best of luck, being an addict doesn’t make you a bad person or unworthy of love and you deserve to be happy, being an addict will only bring you and all who love you misery. Xx

[joanne123]

Good morning, thank you for your kind words, i don’t want to be responsible for letting the people i live down, I’m ashamed i ruined xmas day, when i don’t touch it am a sensible person who loves life, sorry to hear about your husband and i hope things get better for you

[margirl48]

Hi Joanne

Reading your thread made cry as it’s exactly what my boyfriend did before I ended it recently. I’m heartbroken spending Christmas alone and wondering why he choose his lifestyle over me ???? I was a good girlfriend to him but he seems to rather spend his days on dope and coke. Seeing you have an issue is a start being an addict will never bring you healthy happiness and you will loose good friends family and relationships

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