[dasey]

Hello, my son is 24 he’s been taking coke since he was seventeen. He’s never had any money from the day he started work. Next thing we’re the pay day loans. Twice I’ve paid these people. There’s always dealers that he owes money to and there’s always a reason that I have to pay it off. He blackmails me that he’ll loose his job if his boss finds out. He’s had lots of jobs which start off ok then he has so much time off because he can’t get out of bed where he’s been on the coke that he looses them. He’s vile after a heavy night and says terrible things. I do try not to let it get to me.

I have a big family but moved a long way away hoping he might get better but that didn’t work.

He goes to NA which did work at first but doesn’t seem to now.

He lived with a girl for six months and I really thought we’d turned a corner but they split up and we’re back to square one. He just conned me out of 500 pound this weekend. Please don’t say why did you give it to him because I’ve been asking myself the same thing. He lies he’s devious and I really don’t know what to do anymore

[lindyloo]

Hi Dasey, welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story here.

I felt I had to respond to you, as this story resonates with me and the way my son behaved while addicted to alcohol and cocaine. ( the alcohol triggers the need for cocaine)

I joined the Theresa thread here, who are all mums with sons with addictions. Everyone is so supportive and understanding. I was able to share my story with them when I felt I couldn’t talk to anyone I knew.

The adfam homepage offer advice and support also Drugfam and the Icarus trust posts here too.

One thing I’ve learned is that you cannot force them to seek help, it has to be THEIR decision.

Please take time out for yourself- this behaviour can consume a family. Please try to stay strong. Read Danman83 and Jamesb posts who are in recovery and offer great advice from their perspective.

My 29yr son reached out for help 2/3 yrs ago- through CA and AA groups, he is currently 1 yr free of drugs and alcohol. It’s been a rocky ride , and every day is a battle for them, but so worth it.

Take care Dasey, and stay strong.

Lx ❤️

[imaginedragon]

Hi there. What a supportive reply. I’ve just joined tonight. I can’t believe I didn’t see the signs before with my son. I thought he had mental health problems. My son is 19 and heavily Addicted to weed, possibly more. He’s lost his job, his home, weight, image and friends. It’s a desperately sad situation and I hope he is ready to accept help one day. Until that’s day, its like watching him self destruct from a distance. We had to ask him to leave home 2 months ago because of his vile, aggressive behaviour. I have two younger daughters that I had to shield. I hope one day to be in the situation you are in. I hope you find your happy ever after and everything works out.

[weegem]

Hi I’ve not been on in ages son still not quite there but is trying to get of the coke and now has lost his job x

[dasey]

Hi weegem

They just don’t seem to care about jobs

The trouble being no money and the debt problem gets worse. Can I ask was it a job he enjoyed or just another one of many

[dasey]

Sorry I have to vent tonight

After lending my son all that money he promised his dad could go with him to

Pay his debt. My husband was going to make it clear we would go to the police if he contacted him again. Big row tonight we can’t go with him. He said some terrible things so I’m the end we just dropped him off to pay it on the promise that he’s really had enough of drugs and won’t do it again remembering this has been going on for many years.

I’m sitting here now feeling absolutely sick to my stomach

Is it just me or does anyone else get sick of seeing these dealers with their big shiny cars and lovely tans where they’ve been abroad yet again. Couldn’t give a shit who’s life they destroy

[dasey]

Sorry to moan so much x

[dasey]

Could I ask if anyone could tell me how to get on the Theresa thread. I’m such an idiot when it comes to the internet and everything to do with it x

[weegem]

Hi I don’t no wat to do im trying to get my son of drugs but it hard due to the girls,he has a kid to is involved wat do I do ?

[dasey]

Hi weegem I wish I had the answer

My son has a cocaine addiction but he’s not with a partner and doesn’t have children

They don’t seem to worry about anything I think they leave that to us. Has he tried to get help? X

[catsmom]

Dasey click on “share your story” on blue line above this screen then scroll through pages until you find the Theresa thread (about 3 pages ) Its titled “theresa by theresa”

[weegem]

Hi ye hes had help but says and does wat everyone wants to hear and I no hes been on it it is cocaine but he is finding it hard to come of it x

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