[onwards]

Just spent the night reading so many posts that resonate for me. Husband of 10 years (been together for 16) left me just before Christmas. Discovered his massive hidden coke habit – I thought he was ‘just’ an alcoholic! Been going around in circles trying to find reasons to blame myself but this forum has definitely helped restore my sanity a bit. He’s ‘in love’ with his dealers g/f and they are now together. It’s broken my heart but the thing I need advice/ help/ support with is how to deal with contact for my 3 kids. The eldest (14) knows the whole picture but the younger 2 (9 & 12) are just grief stricken. He barely saw them for 8 weeks but took them out for a couple of hours at the weekend. I managed to arrange to meet and pick them up but hes still driving (drink driving conviction seems to have got lost in the process) so I don’t know how to navigate this for my kids safety. Also he’s living in a van. To the outside world it’s going to look like I’m obstructing kids seeing him but I’m not – just mist people don’t know he’s in active addiction. What do other people do? My youngest wants to start staying the night with him sometimes! She has no idea of course. What does anyone else do to manage this? I just want my husband back ( not the lying shouty one obviously). He’s so far from accepting he needs help and new g/f has just started a whole new world of making him feel like he’s just fine how he is.

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