[jm96]

Hi, Sorry to start a new post. I wasn’t really sure how this all works.

I was wondering if anyone on here has any advise regarding a parent having an addiction problem. This parent has been addicted to both drugs and alcohol, on and off since I was very young. They went to a rehab and mental health home for a while when I was younger and I was put into care. I am now a lot older, but there addiction continues to rule and I don’t know what to do anymore.

[careaboutyou]

Hi there, you don’t say how old you are. I am a widow of an alcoholic…so I understand that part very well. If you are younger perhaps tell a Teacher, your Doctor or call Childline …not sure which country you are in? Otherwise tell an Adult that you trust. Don’t cover for them, tell someone what’s really going on.

I don’t think that it’s healthy for you to be living with an addict. On this website look under Help for Families – Finding Support perhaps.

So sorry that you are dealing with this as a younger person as well. It’s a complete nightmare for anyone living with an addict, please reach out and get help. You may be able to get help to get your own council place, to enable you to get away. Good luck.

[careaboutyou]

See helpline numbers

[jm96]

Hi thanks for replying, I’m 25. I am very used to it by now, as I said she has been this way since I can remember. I just feel like I’m holding onto something that isn’t really there. I love her to pieces but its destroying me and my siblings. The doctor is aware, and I’m in contact with her doctor regularly to monitor the alcoholism. It just very draining.

[careaboutyou]

Hi there, the reason that I took my Son away from his father ( who was an alcoholic), was that I didn’t want my late husband doing to my Son, what he was doing to me.

That is, holding him there saying that it’s love, which is what he did to me for five years. It was sucking the life out of me and I know that I would have become very ill and I had to be ok to be there as a Mother for my Son. So I chose my Son over my husband as he was an innocent child. He is now 15 and was never affected by his father’s behaviour because I left when he was 5 and my husband died eventually from alcohol in 2012.

Now I see you, it’s so sad for you that you’re in this position. You say that their addiction continues to rule..these words haunt me. You must see that you are entitled to live your own life without this. You are not responsible for her, on the contrary, she was supposed to be responsible for you! Even though you are now 25, I can understand the suffering that you have been through, only too well, because I lived it.

My advice is leave…move as far away as you can, move in with friends or a partner ( make sure that they are normal! ) and don’t tell her where you’re going. Save yourself, no one will blame you. She is the person gravely at fault here. I just hope you get the courage to leave and if anything happens to her, then like me and my husband’s family did when he died, we just all felt a massive sense of relief and the fact that my husband was also now free of the torture of addiction. So don’t worry about the future, you must block it out, leave and live your own life!!

[jm96]

I would move as far away but I I feel like I can’t leave my brother who’s younger. He refuses to leave mum, and he is only 13. I don’t want him going through the pain and emotional distress that I experienced my whole life and childhood, I just feel so stuck.

I’m holding onto something that isn’t even there any more

[anon72]

I completely understand you I am 19 and living with an alcoholic mum. My youngest brother is 10 and lives with us also. My 2 other brothers live with my dad because of my mums habits. I want to move in with my boyfriend but the guilt of leaving him with her and even leaving her at all is so bad. I don’t have advice but I can say you are not alone. I understand you.

[eddie123]

Hi there, this sounds like a very difficult situation for you and I am sorry. I know of a great charity that supports people like yourselves nationwide. The family support programme is all remote and they help many families a year. Please see link and fill in the referral and someone will endeavour to respond within 24 hours. https://adaptoxford.org.uk/the-icarus-programme/

They also have a free treatment programme for Addicts if your loved one wants the help, give them call or fill in the referral on their website.

[Author]

Posts