[keepgoingback]

Hi all

I’ve never really done this before but here goes:

I’ve been with boyfriend for over 3 years now and he has an alcohol and cocaine addiction.

We live together in my flat and he rents his house, so I always feel so terrible throwing him out as I know by doing so I’m making it worse as he feels more detached and turns to drugs but sometimes I just don’t know what to do.

I feel like an idiot for always believing his lies, even blatant lies I seem to rationale that they could be true.

I’m completely lost. I work all day and then my nights and weekends are spent trying to get him on wagon and uncovering his lies. For a few days I get so excited that it’s worked and see the man I love but then two days later I come home and he is drunk and I find coke in is pockets.

I am really at my last straw as it’s ruining both our lives but I also see the hurt he is going through in his eyes. It’s not like he is going out partying he is just drinking vodka whenever he can on his own and doing lines in the toilet or when I’ve gone to the shop.

He has gone to AA meeting tonight (but we’ve been there so many times). Im just tired.

Im 35 and want children so im scared I’ll end up in 5 years and I would have let him take all that from me as there is no way at the moment I would bring a child into this environment!

Any help or advice I would really appreciate.

[anyfuture]

Hi. I so sorry for what you’re going through. I would say as mum of a 5 year old with an alcoholic father, that much as you love him and care for him, he is never going to be good father material. At least not unless he can find it in him to get help, and prove to you for a sustained period of time that he is sober/clean. Then that would be your choice. My son has a drunken, nasty, wasted daddy. And that’s no life for a child, for anyone or you. If you’d like children I’d say best out of the relationship and to find some happiness and peace without him. Ultimately you aren’t responsible for him (and how many of us are ‘trapped’ because they have no where else to go, no one else who accepts their behaviour, or provides for them?) Really, you aren’t. If he’s left before, presume he has somewhere to go? Can you change the locks and perhaps have someone stay with you (or you with them), if you’re worried about what he might do? Sending a hug x

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