[danniilou82]

My partner I’ve been with for 3 years now has put me through hell for the past 2 years with his addiction it can be anything drink, coke, slot machine sites and even sex..

The first year together was great he was such a nice person then an awful incident happened where he witnessed me get run over in a hit and run I was in hospital for about a week then a few days after I come home this all began…

First I was bed ridden and he started taking my car and going on binges where he would disappear for a day or two and be on drink and drugs then over lockdown it got worse he had self employed grants for a couple of thousand at a time and he would be gone for more days spending all the money then it would be arguements galore and he’s always be sorry and says the exact same words but then do it again his never gone a whole month in 2 years without doing something stupid and I’m at the stage I’ve had it I’m so sick of the same repetitive words his like a broken record.

I understand what he see with me being run over has hurt him as he felt helpless but we’ve been through all that an I was the one who was injured and has had to and still at recovering but I don’t chose to drink and take drugs and treat him that way.

He has stopped disappearing but still often will finish work and find his way to a pub and comes home drunk when everyone in the house is not drunk so we all find him irritating I have 3 teenagers and his actions make them angry and they can’t understand why I’m still with him but when his good his good but as I said this is only a matter of weeks till he does it again.

His mum has just passed away 2 weeks ago so I’m constantly on edge his gonna do it again his saying his not but after the thousands of promises there is no trust

I’m now the only person he has in his life after his mum has passed but I just can’t take it no more his making me feel depressed I can’t plan anything with him as he just ruins it I mean even last Christmas on Christmas Eve he was out drinking and taking drugs totally ruined the day then Valentine’s he sold the aftershaves I had brought him obviously for drugs I just can’t forgive him anymore and I’m adamant now if he does it again he has to go. The worst thing about all this is he don’t see he has a problem even with the sex if he is home and not drinking he seems to think I’m like some blow up doll he constantly is after sex or talking about it as much as I love him I’m really starting to hate who he is everything is just non stop with him and he can’t break the cycle now I feel the person I was with for the first year was a complete fake and this is really who he is and I’m sure this is why all previous relationships have failed as his done this same behaviour he seems to think him popping in the pub is not an issue but for me it is as I never know what that one or two drinks will lead to it’s like he comes home for an argument so he can leave I’m just at a loss of what to do anymore.

[bt1978]

Hey.

Sorry about the situation

Unfortunately it reads as if your partner is cross addicted – using the things you described to self medicate somehow.

Perhaps seeing what he saw sent him that way, who knows. Unfortunately what I do know having been in his shoes is that unless he wants to stop all this himself and get help, there is nothing you can really do other than look after yourself. Feeling sorry for him isn’t going to help him long term either.

Would he consider seeing someone to get some outside help ?

[danniilou82]

Thank you for replying from what I’ve learnt over time it seems he has always been this way.

He needs to seek help for this as it is destroying us and also me everytime he does it, it causes huge issues for us the problem is he doesn’t seem to see he has this dangerous addictive personality.

I’m always on edge.

I come across this site while looking for help and was good to read I’m not alone.

[icarus-trust]

Hi,

Thanks for posting and sharing your story. I’m sorry that you are having such a difficult time because of your partner’s addiction.

I’m glad that you have found this forum and can see that you are not alone but if you would like some more support please contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports people like yourself dealing with addiction in their family. We have trained and experienced people, called Family Friends you could speak with who may be would help you to find a way forward.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

Good luck.

[danniilou82]

Thank you ever so much for reaching out and offering support I really appreciate it as didn’t know where to turn.

Thank you

[Author]

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