[redfox20]

My partner walked out of the family home 4 weeks ago, after leaving to go to work to then only skip work to go use cocaine, after this i then came to a realisation he has a cocaine addiction. This past month he’s bills have racked up he’s not using he’s car as it needs tax and has a flat battery, he’s phone bill has been cut off, he’s living back at home with he’s mum he’s 32 he hadn’t been in touch with me for 3 weeks so I reached out over a week ago said I understand he’s struggling and doesn’t mean to hurt us and that if he needs help i will help him. He said thanks for being so understanding don’t want to hurt you or the boys we have 3 sons one is he’s stepson and we have another baby on the way. He came up the next day to see the children at times he was still he’s normal self we joked got on and at times he was avoiding certain things I brought up to do with he’s situation and was very distant. He’s lost weight me an my eldest son could clearly see he’s clothes hanging off him whereas before they were tight. I’m at such a loss at the min as to what to do he was supposed to come up last Sunday to see kids said he would and would speak to me tomorrow this was on Saturday heard nothing since, do I give up and cut off contact let him come to realise how bad he’s addiction is himself or do I reach out ask how he is etc and that I’m still here should he need help or let him realise im doing me and not investing in he’s addiction anymore, any advice would be much appreciated thanks.

[dfh]

I’m going through similar. I can’t help but think Danman83 would have the best advice for you. I can only give you advice based on how I cope. X

[redfox20]

Thank you yes @danman83 is very helpful in giving insights to how an addict feels, so sorry to hear your going through the same situation it’s awful isn’t it, how do you cope have you cut your partner/husband off? Am i best to let him hit rock bottom. X

[dfh]

Yes you are better off just getting on with looking after yourself and your kids. Leave him be with what hes doing, you can’t do anything about it anyway. I’ve detached myself so I don’t get stressed. I also find CRAFT therapy helps. There is a helpful link on 20minuteguide….Google it. There’s about 10 pages and each page gives you so much help into how to cope. Xx

[redfox20]

Thank you will check that out 🙂 it’s so conflicting isn’t it you don’t know what the right or wrong thing to do i never asked to be in this situation neither did he I suppose, but putting yourself first is a must of course especially when you have kids. It just hurts how he can abandon them but they are fine & happy that’s all that matters they have me. I’m going to let him get on with it as I’m always there this will be a shock to him hopefully a wake up call he needs because we haven’t officially said we’re done he has some clothing not a great deal most of he’s belongings & passport is at my house so he’s in no rush to get them been nearly 5 weeks. Xx

[Author]

Posts