[handt123]

I’d been with my partner for 4 years, the last 2 with cocaine becoming a real problem for him.  It escalated last year but I finally managed to get him into rehab for a month in January.  He did great and I really believe he won’t use again.  However, since coming out he’s been distant, snappy and cold.  When I talked to him he just ended the relationship, wouldn’t discuss it and just said maybe feelings were never there?  One week before on his final call before coming home he said he loved me, all of his notes in his recovery folder say he loves me – I’m so confused. Any advice? I can live with it if he means it but just don’t know what to think right now?

[Nimmo32]

Hello,

Sorry to hear your going through this, I’ve been through this myself and I understand how upsetting this is.
From my experience I would say he started using as soon as he came out of rehab, he is probably feeling ashamed and that’s why he’s saying the things he’s saying. My husband(now not together) would go to the meetings and say he was getting clean, he would do a few weeks maybe a month then I would notice a decline, and he would start to say things like we were always different and he was unsure if he ever loved me and even unsure as to why we had kids together. It was heartbreaking and in the end I couldn’t do it anymore. I separated from my husband. He lost everything, he has since been going to the meetings and doing his twelve steps and is 4 months clean. I would mention to your partner about going to the face to face meetings and tell him he can get clean but he has to put the work in. He does love you, it’s just the addiction taking over.

[pops88]

Hello, I am in exactly the same position, my husband changed, then left 10 weeks ago I know he has been abusing cocaine all came out about 2 weeks after he left , he denies it, said he has but the same as Everyone else, he is starting to not bother with me or his 2 children, complete opposite of what he was , is there any change in your husbands?, I wish everyday he would wake up, we had a great relationship been together 19+ years, we where best friends , this is a horror of a drug , hope you ladies are doing good, look after yourself x

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