[drained-and-tired]

Hi all,

Basically here because I am so tired of my partners addiction to cocaine.

He has been addicted for years and 1 year ago he joined CA meetings and was doing really well, then 3 months in he relapsed big time. And from then on he has got worse and now injects the stuff. He goes round random people’s houses and for the life of me I wouldn’t like to know what he gets up to. He doesn’t contact me for days and no matter how many texts or phone allspice I send he doesn’t answer. A week ago he had hypnotherapy and he came out of it and said he felt different, (looking at it now it was just hes way of getting in my good books) he lasted 5 days away from cocaine, then last night he got paid from a job and he went out and got cocaine and didn’t come home. I honestly beleive he isn’t ready to stop. Because if he was he would be putting all hes effort in to stop. Just so fed up with the false hope and happiness one min and then the anger and sadness the next.

[danman83]

Hiya hope you are OK?

I’m 2 months tommorow clean from coke, I decided to join CA 2 month ago after vowing I’d never join. But it’s helped me so much. But it’s early days. But all I can say it is working.

If he’s injecting coke it’s pretty bad, it’s obvious the snorting it isn’t enough – he wants a better high.

I don’t know him but I wouldn’t rule out anything else like crack or heroin with him injecting. But I don’t know him, so I could be wrong. But it does lead to this.

I think he himself needs to want to stop for himself again. He needs get away from everyone possible to do with drugs, delete everyone’s numbers and social media. Get a new number even, and he needs go back to the meetings and work the steps again. He did well the 1st time so it did work for him. The thing is after a few month even a year, we think we are OK and we can stay in a house we’re people drink, or talk with an old drug dealer and think we won’t get anything. But the fact is.. We are not. And this is why we have a sponsor and phone them in these situations.

I tried a hypnotist, its an easy way out thinking we are cured. I relapsed 2 week later. He has to want to quit, and get a good support network.

Hope this helps. Feel free to ask me anything.

[drained-and-tired]

Hiya danman83,

I’m ok thanks, just trying to cope another day of hes addiction!

I have helped him so much with drug debts, sorting hes car out for him, paying bills…..all whilst paying my own bills and keeping the roof over our heads.

He just never makes that extra effort to change,.like the online CA meetings he hasn’t even bothered looking in to it. He gives in to cocaine so easily, the last few days of happiness may aswell have just been a waste of time, because in my eyes its all fake.

Well done for 2 months clean I literally have so much support for anyone that is giving it there all to change. And your proving its possible.

Yeah with the injecting it’s just got out of hand he did mention he had someone inject something else in to him but it wasn’t herion or crack, but I can’t remember what he said it was.

Just don’t know what else to do, I find talking on here helps me cope.

[danman83]

I personally would stop bailing him out, he needs to learn from his mistakes, plus he will just take advantage and know you will and just keep doing it.

What is his situation now? Does he want to stop? If he does, what is he doing to stop with out the meetings?

I’ve read alot of books on addiction from both perspectives – family and user, and tough love is really hard. But they say its what the user needs whatever the outcome. I guess all this is on the basis of the user not even trying to quit. Before I joined CA. I was doing my best to stop for years.

Your right as well, keep coming here and talk to people in the same situation as you. It helps so much, and you might get some ideas how they deal with it and strength to do it. You have to think of your health and financial circumstances as well. You should come 1st now. Us addicts have to fix our own problems.

[Author]

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