[jord14]

So my addict is my partner. He is addicted to cocaine and has been for the best part of 3 years.. maybe longer, we have 2 children 2 and 8. It all came to a head in July after countless lying, stealing, drug binges, not going to work, blaming his behaviour on depression he finally admitted he has a problem and entered a 4 week rehab programme at a well known rehab. He blossomed back into the man I first met and put his all into the programme.. everybody fell in love with his willingness and kind helpful nature. When he left with all of his tools to help him to stay sober the first week was like a dream. I had no suspicions of anything and felt relieved that we may finally have our life back! Then one day after a day out with the children I returned home to find him on the living room floor covered in his own sick. I thought he was dead.. he sure looked it. After us retracing his steps we found out he had gone and bought vodka, drunk drove, had a crash and walked the streets with no shoes on. I can’t tell you how confused and baffled I was. From that moment he never really got back on track. He relapsed again on drink and then continued to relapse on cocaine. How often I don’t no, I don’t really think he knows as he believed his own lies. He openly decided he needed help again and went back to the rehab for a week so they could asses his state and get the drugs out of his system. He has now moved onto secondary care which is like a house where he lives with other people and basically by the sounds of it re programs completely untill he can cope with living a normal day to day life style without drugs or drink. He can only contact us via their phone twice a week for a timed 10 minute conversation, and we can visit him as of next Sunday once a week. The only feeling I have left in me at this point is hope.. hope that he does find the light at the end of the tunnel. I obviously have mixed emotions, panick, anger, sympathy, love, hate ( I’m sure this sounds familiar!) I suppose I was wondering if anyone else has any experience of their loved one being in secondary care? I’m extremely proud of myself for holding my stuff together whilst going through this, sometimes maybe I’m to strong I don’t no, but what I do know is that tough times don’t last, tough people do!!

[icarus-trust]

Hi,
Thanks for sharing your story. You do sound very strong and I can see why you should feel proud of yourself coping in what is a really tough situation with your partner.
If you do feel the need for any support for yourself please contact The Icarus Trust. It can be good to talk with other people who understand what you are going through. We are a charity that provides support for people like yourself who are dealing with the addictive behaviours of a family member.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Stay strong and good luck!

[Author]

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