[leda]

For many years now(relationship of 16 years) I have been suffering with a partner who has alcohol addiction(in denial). He recently went in for a 6week rehab program(finally!)- after I refused to let him return home after his months of binges (and blowing our savings) on hotels to binge in. During his recent rehab days I was starting to feel positive- and actually seeing a happy future, plus I found I was healing- I hadn’t realised just how low my self esteem and confidence had become. I didn’t want him to come straight home though- as I am now very scared of relapse- so he is at his parents. But I have been feeling, since he has been out of rehab for only a couple of weeks, that he has already relapsed. He is back to lying, gaslighting, and setting up fake stories- so that I am the one he will blame for relapse. I think I am at the end of our relationship now. He has controlled me so much- he is a “high functioning” alcoholic so persuaded me to give up work a while ago. Am I an idiot? I feel so betrayed I phoned Samaritans today. I am 50 years old and somehow I need to get myself back on track from square one. It’s horrendous.

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