[helenaangelbat]

I have family members who have destroyed themselves and their lives through drug abuse. I met my partner after those events. I’ve have not hidden my feelings and fears around drug use and the damage it can cause. My partners father is an alcoholic so there’s addicition issues in both our families. My partner told me he took ecstasy and more in his 20’s, before we met. That isn’t a problem,  I appreciated his honesty. We are now in our 40’s and together 18 years. 9 months ago i smelt weed off him and asked him. He denied it, made out i was losing my mind. Eventually he admitted he smokes on a regular basis with a friend of his. The lying upset me and makes it hard trust him. He agreed to counselling to figure things out and learn to communicate better with each other. He is an angry man in general, his Dad wasnt easy to live with. I have to tiptoe around him and be mindful how I phrase things because it is hard to know if it will set him off. He shouts and roars, is verbally nasty but it’s never physical. We went to the counselling 9 months ago about his anger. He said yes for years, but never did anything about it, so I, out of desperation, booked the appointment. In that session it came up about smoking weed behind my back, not coming home until all hours, makes me feel like a parent, not a partner and it is hard to trust him. He told me at that appointment he would continue to get counselling for his anger and stop smoking weed. He went to the next appointment alone and never went back. Overall things have been OK since then. Last night i overheard him on the phone to a friend discussing mushrooms. He knows where some grow and he sends them to friends. I asked him about it and he admitted he takes mushrooms. He said he takes them to deal with stress at work and other areas in his life. He said from now on he will be honest and tell me when is taking them. It stresses me so much- I really don’t want him to be taking them. We have 3 pre-teen children. I am scared too, looking ahead to how we will deal with the drugs/alchol use conversations. Am i a control freak like he says I am. He says he knew I would over react so thats why he didnt tell me about the mushrooms. I feel i wasnt given a chance. If he had been honest I might not be as upset?  He lied to me and went behind my back again. Is there nothing to worry about with mushroom use? Am I over reacting and out of order to be upset and stressed about this?

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