[redsummer]

He’s been taking cocaine for 13 years, i only found out 4 years ago, when outstanding bills arrived at our home. At the worse, he was using £600 a week.

Our doctor advised him to seek help at an addiction centre, which he did and was off the substance for 12 months, but has started using again.

I think I have supported him as much as I can. Even when I had cancer 2 years ago, and needed his support, he continued to use.

Today he tested positive again, became angry, denied he had used etc etc!

Is there a chance in hell, I can help him while the centre he attends is closed due to Covid, or is it time to walk away from this relationship? We have been together 36 years.

[bt1978]

Hi.

Sorry to hear about this, a truly awful thing to happen to anyone.

The short answer is yes there is help available right now this minute, if he wants to opt for it.

My suggestion is get into some online NA meetings (feel like I’m in repeat today sorry!)

They are done through zoom and online all day every day. He can attend and listen if he wants and get some identification. People with long term clean time often offer help and support too.

In my experience staying clean is more than just not doing drugs, it’s about being able to deal with life on lifes terms and in order to do that I need to keep in top of everything a day at a time, or eventually slowly but surely I’ll end up veering back to that.

Also let’s not forget you, do you have enough help and support?

[redsummer]

Thank you. I will speak to him. As you are aware, it’s up to him if he wants to speak to anyone at the moment he’s in denial.

No, I have no support. I’m too embarrassed to talk to anyone in the family or friends. They think he is clean and will only advice me to leave him.

[bt1978]

Dont feel ashamed. It isn’t your shame to carry.

[Author]

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