[esta]

I was In also The dark about my husbands cocaine use.

The first part you write about his behaviour is exactly the same –

“He was missing work, sleeping all day, up all night, not eating.”

He twisted the truth accordingly

I thank God every day that I did not fall for his “everybody does, it go on try it”.

He tried to normalise it all the time. I guess then It would have been our addiction, to justify his own his own use

[esta]

You have completely done the right He has to make some decisions with some morality behind them.

The children don’t need to witness the cycle and the chaos of addiction and begin to think it is ‘normal’

You can still be independent and pick up your life again

They become so good at telling you what you want to hear

[aj8933]

Thank you both for responding. Some days I feel so alone. My family try but nobody really understands until it’s knocking on your door.

He never asked to use with me, I assume he knew the answer would be a flat no. It’s just not part of my life and I’m left confused as to why I’ve ended up with someone with a really coke addiction.

I’m struggling so much to forgive and forget and allow him time to heal also. The children have been impacted because of this but I’m trying to ensure a relationship.

I feel like I’m moaning but there is a huge part of me that wants to scream and shout. I need to heal I just don’t know how to.

I love him very very much and deep down he is a good person but I can’t be with an addict I won’t let the children be involved with a drug addict but the guilt is killing me. You can’t explain all this to a 3 and 9 year old can you. I just look like public enemy number 1.

Sorry for being so negative x

[esta]

Your only enemy is the addiction.

You know you have been treated badly and were pushed to do the right thing for at the very least yourself.

We all know our partners were good people before addiction

If you stepped back into life together tomorrow what would the formula of the day be: Loving calm environment – where you were living as an equal?

It’s tough but reading posts on here will help you rationalise.

All storms pass.

[aj8933]

Lovely response thank you so much x

[esta]

I know exactly how you are feeling the inner loss and grief can be overwhelming

[esta]

When Someone You Love has an Addiction

This may help it’s the best article I have read on addiction

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