[tinkerbell16]

Hi just looking for advice , so been with my partner 2 years have a son to previous relationship love my partner so much but cocaine has ruined him I never realised how much of a problem it really was till now mood swings temper but only with me but the blame is always put on something else he hasn’t seen his kids from previous relationship which I know is killing him and uses that as an excuse but I am the only person there to help him yet he disrespects me constantly goes out all night comes home early hours in morning dosent contact me I loose sleep worrying where he is and it happens on a daily basis I have talked many times and still it dosent get fixed relationship has got toxic now last straw he didn’t contack me in 12 hours came in at 6.00 in morning with friends coked off his face with whiskey as I was getting up for work and had to get my son up for school I have asked him to leave he won’t and apparently I’m being evil for doing this to him when he is going through such a hard time with his kids yet iv been by his side for so long I can’t take anymore I need to think of me and my son who thankfully dosent see any of this , I guess I know I’m doing right thing to get out of this I worry if something happens to him as he has no one else or do I try and get him help thanks

[danman83]

Hiya hope your OK. I’m the same as your bf with a coke problem but it’s once every few week. Or once a week. And I’m trying allsorts to quit. There’s no point in trying to get him help. He needs to admit he has a problem and get the help himself. I’d just sit down and talk to him amicably and tell him he needs help.

There’s a thing called emotional relapse where we overthink things, and cause arguments with our partners, or blame situations for our anger, and this causes us to use. Or basically it’s just an excuse to use. I know people that use for 3 days none stop. It’s a horrible drug, and I want to quit because of the come downs. Basically when it wears off it sends you depressed for days and suicidal thoughts. I’ve known people who have been on this when took their life’s. Sorry to tell u this, but it is the truth. Its all to do with your dopamine in your brain.

There is a lot of things he can do to help him stop. It’s just if he wants to. Feel free to ask me anything

[tinkerbell16]

Hi just checking how your doing

[tinkerbell16]

Thanks for replying it’s good to hear your side and everything you have said is exactly how it is and I know that this is how his head is working iv tried to help too many conversations to even meet him half way he has took it every week without fail now it’s twice to three times a week iv said I will help if he has problem he is adamant that he dosent and that he dosent need help it’s hard for me to watch him destroy himself it’s getting worse he is paranoid with me jealous calls me names everything’s my fault and it’s my fault he does it I have tried every way if he does it iv said nothing and he will pick an argument with me ,any approach isn’t working I guess it’s something he has to fix himself when he admits to himself it’s hard for me to understand as I have never taken it guess it hurts as he so selfish when taking it and dosent contact me is the worst why is that

[danman83]

He is addicted to, I’ve watched so many videos and spoke to people about this. Even though I don’t have it everyday I’m addicted to it. I always fall back to it. Most people are addicted to something. We all have a coffee or tea a day, and can’t cope with out it lol.

But an expert I watched on a video, said if u have coke for 6 month, even if its once a month your addicted. If he’s having it through the week he must be pretty bad on it, and spends a lot on it. Do you know how much he spends?

Also this is not your fault one bit. It’s all his. We take responsibility for our own actions. So don’t beat yourself up about his comments.

If he’s not contacting you, he’s obviously just getting off his head and probably don’t want you to be going mad at him if he rings you or something, that’s just my opinion. Plus it depends who he’s with. He could just be with mates having fun just ignoring you.

He’s lost the plot if he’s adamant he has not got a problem. Tell him prove it and not have any for a month. And just stay in for a month. Trust me he will use.

Where is he going when he uses in the week?

[tinkerbell16]

Lol we all do mines coffee , I’m unaware as to what he is spending but it would be a lot , he is with his friends all his friends take it iv hung in for so long he promised me two months ago he would come off it for a month two days later he was back on it apologised and done it two days later after that iv stuck it so long it’s hurting me bad it’s effecting me bad that I have no option but to give up or my life going to be ruined only because I love him and I know he has a problem iv held on and I can’t anymore just scared now he on his own what he will do and I will get the blame at least if he could admit I would hold on , he kicked me also never thought he would do that but drugs has ruined him all he says is he having fun with friends never mind fact I’m crying my eyes out because he constantly does this to me and completely dosent care about me and my feelings Thankyou so much for talking to me I just can’t talk to family about it I’m embarrassed

[tinkerbell16]

Do you have a partner if so what would you expect them to do at this point are you getting any help

[danman83]

Does his family know? Could you talk to them?

Yes I’d do, she goes mad, but the odd time she has had it with me and her mates. But most times she does say no.

I ask her for help. So I’ve literally just woke up now from my night shift, and I’ve had a dream I was having coke, when this happens I could lapse in a few days, so I have told her take my phone off me Friday at 2pm please and car keys and give it me back sat morn. Then do the same Saturday at 2pm till the next day. She locks it away in a safe. She won’t let me drink as well. I’m not a drinker anyway. But having alcohol makes u crave coke really bad.

If you want to quit like I do, I do this routine, give her my phone, keys, lock way in a safe.

Every night at work I listen to cocaine recovery stories, I read books by people who had addictions, I use various addiction apps, I go to the gym, read, try and do activities to keep me busy.

You could say well it’s not working lol if I’m using every couple of week. But it helps a great deal, and if I use, the next day I get back on track and keep doing what I was doing. I just have had enough of it and it sends my head west for days after it

[tinkerbell16]

It’s good tho that you recognise it and you do that routine to help yourself and you are doing a lot of looking into it that wouldn’t cross my partners mind it’s all about him he will always choose it over me and I know that I’m sitting in a&e because of something he done and still it’s about him and what he is going through shows a lot from talking to you all I can do is get him to admit he has a problem and if he wants help I will help but I think this will be the last his family gave up on him a long time ago I know he has no one which makes it even harder but iv just got to point as why should I put up with it anymore when it’s ruining me , I have been friends for years with him my previous relationship of 12 years was abusive mentally and physically as my ex was a heavy cannibis user which destroyed itself my now partner noes what I went through and he is now doing exact same thing to deal with it twice in your life it’s exhausting how long have to been on coke

[danman83]

Trust me when he’s coming down off the coke he will be wishing he never had it and be having regrets about things, but some people just keep chasing it and want more and more because they don’t want to feel like this.

Have u got kids together did u say?

Personally I think if you have had enough and he’s not willing to change, it’s going to make you ill, so start thinking about yourself and move on with your life. You do deserve better.

[tinkerbell16]

Yes your right and that’s why he does it more and more I have one from previous relationship and I need to think of him because I can’t be the best I can be as a mother dealing with partner as well, I’m just soft hearted put other people in front of myself and it’s got me nowhere iv asked him to leave and he not making it easy but I have to do this for me and my child definately the hardest thing iv had to do when you love someone but it’s for the best Thankyou so much for talking to me I really hope that you stay on the right path and you can do it you are doing all the right things to help yourself keep going

[danman83]

Thank you for that. I hope it all works out for you, good luck

[beth2020]

I hope you are ok! I feel like there are similarities between how you feel and how I feel towards my partner – he tells me he hates me, I’m selfish and heartless. I hate the sleepless nights the worrying and questioning whether I could have helped more. The past couple of weeks I’ve been reading and realised it’s not for us but for them to realise which is hard because it’s letting go and stepping into the unknown but do what’s right for you and your child. Please do talk if you ever need to!

[tinkerbell16]

Hi Beth I’m ok bit of a mess iv got to the point I feel worthless , you are right it’s not our fault and it’s up to them to realise I guess I’m embarrassed and hurt feel completely stupid as I have already been here before but it’s hard when you love someone sometimes it’s the best for them to let go does your partner take drugs , never mind the drugs or alcohol it’s the name calling I would prefer to get hit as over time it brings you down to nothing I wouldn’t have it in me to say nasty things about him but now the more he says them it’s bringing it out on me In a loving relationship those lines should never be crossed as it takes away you as a person we aren’t any of the things they say that’s there problem there insecurities they just want you to feel as bad as they do and don’t listen to it no one deserves that how are you

[beth2020]

Yes I completely understand how you feel, I’ve had to walk away from my partner but I feel so guilty. He’s also borrowed almost £10,000 off me which I didn’t know was for drugs so I’ve just had to get a solicitor so yesterday was a really hard day for me as I felt as if I had given up on him and let him down. It was also something I’ve been trying to avoid so I hope it gets better from here!

I also agree the name calling is painful because it is what makes me doubt myself but I hope this might give him a wake up call to make a change before it’s too late. Yes your right it’s not them talking it’s the drugs because makes it hard to know what’s real and what’s been a lie, today I’ve woken up and hoping for a better day I think it’s one step at a time and I just hope he is having a clean day and thinking about making a change

[tinkerbell16]

Oh my goodness that’s a lot he has took off you , where’s yous married have any children? So my previous long term partner gambled all his money and also for cannibis I had child to him he was abusive I had to walk away then and you do feel guilt especially the way they make you feel and that you are supposed to be the one to help them when you spend all your time helping them but it comes to a point they destroy you because if you don’t take the action to walk away nothing will change and you keep going round in circles sometimes people can’t be helped you have done your all and believe me iv been here before can’t believe I’m in same situation with another partner and I know what I need to do but I feel guilt if he does something to himself because he has no one and I mean no one , I have been here before iv just not had to deal with someone who is a cocaine addict , it’s hard what you are going through you have took the first step and that is the hardest thing you have had to do but you have done it for your own well being and his if he can’t see this now he will in time hopeing that he sorts himself out the best thing you can do is take each day as it comes each day will get better and brighter work on yourself get you back to who you are get a hobby anything and focus on that and don’t let other peoples problems destroy you as a person no one deserves that don’t feel regret you are doing this to help him look at what he has done to you whilst you helped it’s time he helps himself x

[beth2020]

Hey, yeah it’s a lot he lied about what it was for so I feel guilty that I didn’t realise sooner but it is what it is! No not married and thankfully no children now I’ve found this forum I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders like I’m not crazy for thinking like this and getting a solicitor has eased a little burden but I felt horrible having to get that step but I keep trying to remind myself it is to help myself, got to put myself first after months of it being about him.

I’m really sorry your going through this again. Cocanie is such a evil, nasty drug and terrifying what it can do to people. When you say he has no one is that him making you think that or really has no one? Because my partner would cry and say this to me and I realised it was the coke talking and him feeling low. It’s tough because I know he could confide and had support in me but I felt like what was I fighting for and trying to help some one who isn’t helping their self?

Your advice is good you gave me, take one step at a time, ad if he doesn’t see it now he will in time – I think you should listen to your own advice your smart! But it’s so much easier said than done, the past months have felt like a massive battle trying to work out what to do and I think don’t know what’s the right thing!

You can get through this and be happy, you sound like a very strong special lady!

[tinkerbell16]

We all get blinded by people we love more shame on him for taking money off you for his addiction and in time he will be the one feeling guilt , I was blinded now my eyes are open guess I’m just soft hearted he lost his mother at a young age which will always effect him he turned to drugs I thought he was out of that and I was stupid not to realise how bad it was and that I could help he has kids to a previous relationship the mother hasn’t let him see them in a year she is bitter that he moved on maybe more to it I don’t know so that’s another excuse as to using drugs and why he angry and why he needs me and why he says why am I doing this to him what he is going through never mind what he has put me through iv been there solid for year and half for him worshiped the ground he walked on yes he was good to me but also very hard on me any time I needed him especially with the way I was left after first abusive relationship to my sons father I needed someone there for me yet I had to pick myself up my son and him yet he will never see this. I’m trying to be strong I did ask him to leave 4 days ago it’s my house I have to do this I know this but he making it harder as if it’s not hard enough dismissing me asking him to go begging me trying to do things in house he won’t go and respect what I’m asking him to do , his family have all gave up on him and now I see why x

[beth2020]

Don’t feel stupid! I understand why because I feel the same, I feel like when friends and people say to me it’s not my fault and ‘you deserve better’ etc I know they are right but I don’t believe it!

Yes it’s the selfishness ‘why are you doing this to me’ they can’t see that they are doing it to themselves. I wonder if the drug are a contributed t why the mother of his child hasn’t let him see them.

Did he leave the house when you asked him? It sounds as if his family have been through this with him hence why they gave up. I read somewhere that someone truly needs to loose everyone/thing to help them realise the bigger picture hopefully this is the case for both of our partners.

[tinkerbell16]

I know it’s hard sometimes you need to be away from it to realise you deserve better, yes and your right they do truly need to loose everything to realise because when someone there taking it constantly being there for them they won’t realise , he hasn’t left yet I asked him to 4 days ago still asking him to go and he keeps saying he will go tommorrow and he still dosent then keeps on my back about how he won’t touch it again which is a lie I don’t know how to get him to go it’s wearing me down to point il give in and I don’t want to how did you end up leaving your partner did yous live separately

[beth2020]

Oh that’s really frustrating for you. I mean if its your home he should listen and respect that – could you be a little harsh/tough love and pack his bags for him? I don’t know it’s difficult! I feel like that’s really unfair to you though to make you feel uncomfortable in your own home and its not giving you breathing space. I don’t live with my partner so I didn’t need to worry about that but I can only imagine that makes it fair more difficult.

[tinkerbell16]

So finally managed to get him to go absoloutly heartbroken worst thing iv had to do even after the way he has treated me I feel like a bad bitch 3 days of him apologising trying to hug me making me dinner to make up iv had to be as strong as I could because I now once things are ok again we will be back to square one , I asked him to go he finally did but all he said was how dare I do that to him with way he feeling but iv done it for us and hopefully he will sort himself out and maybe he won’t we will have to see

[beth2020]

Well done for having that strength! Tonight will feel awful but let yourself cry it out speak to your friends, maybe get a friend to stay with you over the weekend keep yourself busy. Today is the worst it can be it can only get better! My friend suggested positive affirmations for building my happiness and confidence in myself I think I’m going to try this!

[tinkerbell16]

I know feeling awful but as we said take each day as it comes , yes I will try that too that’s what we need to get happiness back and build confidence that’s been taken away time to think of ourselves and fix ourselves instead of trying to help someone that may never be helped Thankyou so much it helps knowing others are in same situation

[lostandalone]

Well done for having the courage.

I have never posted on here before, but have always taken comfort in hearing other people’s strong moments so well done, it really is for the best.

I signed a contract for my new place tonight and it has taken every bit of strength to make myself do this for me and my daughter.

Have been with my (now ex) for 15yrs, been living a constant nightmare for past 4 years from his coke use (similar to many peoples sad experiences on here where he refused to admit it was a problem or get help). Finally had enough of this sad life I’m living on eggshells all the time and putting up with his Jekyll and Hyde personalities to start looking for a new place last week because he wouldn’t leave and I was too guilty to make him through lockdown as he has no work.

It really is the hardest when you still love them, but it’s for the best long term and wether we believe it now or later, it will get easier and life will get better.

[tinkerbell16]

Hi sorry to hear what you also have been going through , this was the first I used any forums wish I had of long time ago it really does give you hope and comfort when others are going through the same thing, brilliant for you to get your own place it will give you and your daughter a new start and also a focus for you to have the house the way you want it, totally understand the Jekyll and hide personalities it gets exhausting and walking on egg shells you seem very positive and strong and yes it is for the best whether we see it or not what age is your daughter , how did your ex take it

[lostandalone]

I was feeling so much stronger yesterday but now he’s seen that I am serious and have made plans to move, he’s being the nicest guy and showing me how great he can be (maybe trying to call my bluff).

This is the hardest part to get through, it’s already making me stall on giving my notice to our current landlord and making my heart wonder if I’m doing the right thing.

It would be so much easier if he stayed the bad guy…

Our daughter is 6 and he’s an amazing father to her, it breaks my heart to do this to them and of course I’ve been told I’m selfish etc for moving out, I have to remind myself this is our second time trying after I agreed to take him back and he promised he wouldn’t touch it anymore…that lasted less than 3 months and the last 1.5yr have been awful ever since. That’s what I need to keep reminding myself, he’s not that good guy anymore. It will last a few days then back to the mood swings cycle again.

But seeing that guy I love again just breaks me.

Tomorrow’s another day, please stay strong too, keep focused on making your life positive again and know that the bad moments will pass… I’m saying this to you as much as I’m saying it to myself!

[tinkerbell16]

Aww I completely know how you are feeling I’m going through this today even though he has left he promising the world and honestly it’s been a struggle making me feel bad doing what iv done , look feels crazy Iv come on here asking advice on a situation iv already been in and I should know better I guess it’s just comfort in knowing other people going through same situations but before this partner my ex partner of 13 years is who I have my 6 year old boy too but I have been here before my sons father mentally and physically abused me he also had a drug and gambling problem he was the nicest person over time he broke me down I was 6 stone at one point I tried and tried I was going to leave him Untill I fell pregnant things were ok 3 months after having my son drugs went to his head he gambled all the time accused me of cheating I would of loved to know where I even got the time to do that my son slept for 2 hours a night I was exhausted doing everything myself then he hit me , that moment for mine and my sons sake I had to go I moved in with my parents for few months his father tortured me everyday apologies how sorry he was promising the world at that point I almost went back I had a house lined up ready to sign contract once he found out he tried his best to talk me out of it I decided to take the house and it was the best thing I ever did his father was so angry but over time he wanted to make things work I thought he changed a year later down the line he turned back to the way he was and he had to go but at least I had my own house, iv came to realise they will never change whether it be a month or a year , how bad is his drug problem , it’s hard to stay strong when they do this to you but you need to think of all the bad things and why you are wanting to leave it’s scary but whatever situation you will be fine and it is literally taking that first step once you have taken it I promise you will start feeling better about life and living it your way , it’s good he has good relationship with your daughter it was heartbreaking for me to do this to my son I felt a bad mother it was hard for a while but in the long run it was better for my son and his father as he has spent more quality time with him than he ever did before

[lostandalone]

Sorry to hear about what happened with your sons dad but so good to hear you persevered to get your own home and have that safety net for the two of you.

Sounds like we have all been in a similar headspace the last few days.

I used to have terrible panic attacks and not be able to sleep at night when it was really bad. I feel so sorry for him and know he needs help but he just won’t admit it and now I am moving out, he will never take advice or help from me anyway. He sadly uses it as a way of escape and I am sure he has depression and tries to use this to compensate his emotions. He will only use by himself, it’s not a social thing…that’s what’s worried me the most over the time as he won’t admit or accept any help and I am on a constant guilt trip worrying about him as well as taking all the awful mood swings that come with it and then do my best to be normal for our daughter and do my job…have just reached breaking point all over again.

In a way, knowing I’ve got to this point again has helped me get my head straight to focus on moving instead of wasting life and, as hard as it’s been to get myself to finalize things, I think I am almost done and just need to stay strong until move time.

The hardest part is trying to figure out how to tell our daughter and hope she will be ok. Just have to know this is the right decision for all of us, no matter how hard it will feel now and hope it will make him wake up and see what is most important in life.

Hope you all have better days ahead.

[tinkerbell16]

Hi sorry only replying have had rough week so glad you have decided to take the step it’s the hardest part and once you have done it things will get better you will get stronger in yourself I promise you need to do this for yourself and your daughter and for him , it’s going to be hard and for your daughter but I promise she will adjust quickly to it and I hope he sorts himself out but you need to take this step right now or it will continue it’s too make things better if you don’t they will never get better, getting your own place is scary now but it will make you stronger and happier , my partner has left but it’s actually worrying how much the coke has ruined him he came to my house the other night and kicked the door down calling me everything because I ended it and how iv left him with no where to go and the worst is he still torturing me to make things right then next minute nasty messages I can’t go back he really needs help I feel guilt as I’m scared if he does anything to himself but the split personality and different moods is worrying He is mentally breaking my head but I have to stay strong

[beth2020]

Hi hope your ok, just wanted to check in a see how your feeling? Did you have a good weekend? I spent it with my family and friends just needed to be surrounded by everyone I love!

[tinkerbell16]

Hi Beth thanks I’m ok today is to be honest my worst day for some reason feeling sad about everything , how are you doing ?thats good ???? I done the same went and stayed at my sisters took my mind off everything

[beth2020]

Hi, how strange I’ve been feeling a little meh today! I’m at work so trying to keep myself busy and distracted but when I have a moment I think about it all and makes me feel a little sad and anxious especially after the weekend when I know he would have been taking drugs. Just feeling a little heartbroken really, (soppy but true!) But I’m going to meet a friend for dinner tonight (eat out help out scheme!) Friends and good food should keep me happy and distracted!

[tinkerbell16]

I’m at work too trying to keep busy but yes when you get a minute it hits you , I know how your feeling I’m heartbroken too it’s just the process to go through we will have up and down days , great that’s what you need good people around you and keep distracted hope you have a nice night things will get easier , Saturday night was hard but really when I think about it he ended up on the coke anyway what are we missing really nothing but constant heartache

[beth2020]

Yeah your right it’s a process and will get better in time! I suppose we are just used to the anxious Saturday night feeling and that’s not good or normal to feel like that.

[tinkerbell16]

No it wasn’t normal and that’s what we keep needing to remind ourselves of that life has just changed right now it’s not our normal but it’s all for a better life

[lostandalone]

Are you ok? What was he thinking kicking your door down like that!! Makes me so mad to hear that, he should be ashamed of himself.

I know what you mean being worried what he might do to himself but your son and your own safety is the most important. Last time I separated from my ex I was so scared he would take his life, he was in a really dark place and always lashing out verbally. The guilt is the hardest part and I’m sure your partner can see how much empathy you have and how caring you are, that’s why he’s acting this way.

I know we are told we need to stop enabling and let them reach their rock bottom to make them see how bad this is….but it doesn’t make it easier. Keep your head on and absolutely stay strong, You don’t deserve to be treated like this at all.

This time around with us leaving my ex instead of him moving out, there are still mind games and awful mood swings (complete split personality moments) but he seems to have come to terms with it more and I am the one feeling more heartbroken over the separation, I honestly don’t know who I am anymore and have lost all confidence in myself. Why is everything so hard….?

Taking each other’s advice is the best thing we can do for ourselves right now. Even reading other stories on here will remind each other how much negativity it causes for everyone who is connected to or struggles with an addiction. Just frustrating that you can’t help them unless they want to help themselves, taking yourself out of the equation is the only way.

Tomorrow’s another day, make it count and have a positive weekend surrounded by the people who love you.

[tinkerbell16]

Yes I’m ok thankfully my son was asleep never heard anything he drove off as soon as he done it , I was just scared had about 1 hour sleep that night . After everything he that messed up he asking me to meet up to sort things out I feel sorry for him but I am drained he has not left me alone since I asked him to go week and a half ago but yes they do need to hit rock bottom it’s the only way , must be so hard you having to stay with him at the minute Untill you move but keep staying strong , it’s how their minds work at the minute he will be thinking of himself at the minute he will realise when you go the reality maybe not straight away but in time hopefully or His mind is thinking that you won’t go through with it but you need to and stay strong , I know how you feel iv lost all confidence and I don’t know who I am either but we will get it back in time , it’s very fraustrating they don’t want to help themselves hopefully in time they do , yes be around those who love you and appreciate you hope you have a lovely weekend keep me updated how you are getting on

[beth2020]

Hey, how are you? I just wanted to check in and see how your doing?

I had some crappy news I had given my ex a month to pay some money back and he hasn’t now my solicitors is telling me to file an official legal case. I’m also a guarantor on a loan for him which he hasn’t paid for three months and they’ve just been in touch to say he hasn’t paid. I don’t really know what to do about moving forward and don’t really know if I should let his family or if that will make it all worse/ He’s blocked me so I haven’t heard from him for two weeks. Nightmare!

[tinkerbell16]

Hi Beth I’m ok still having up and down days he has been away 2 weeks but still torturing me to make things work and it’s just making things harder promising the world , Aww gosh what a nightmare that is an awful thing to do to you and not fair , did your ex say that he would pay it back I know your scared it may worsen things but what are you suppose to do you will end up paying for it or damage your credit ,are you close with his family maybe go to them first and if it dosent work you have no option but to file a legal case

[beth2020]

Oh I’m sorry to hear that, I definitely relate one minute I’m so happy with my friends and family then having irrational thoughts and so worried for his safety and health! Your doing well to stay strong! Yeah I think having reflected I need to do what’s best for me and put myself first! We’ve got this! Strong ladies!

[tinkerbell16]

Yes that is the key to stay strong I have to keep reminding myself of all the downs and why it has came to this stay strong and look after yourself don’t let him ruin you anymore

[madge101]

My ex has recently moved out “last Friday” after another argument where I felt I was walking on eggshells and not strong enough to deal with his constant accusations about how I do certain things like touch my hair around his friends and that that’s me flirting! I asked him to leave and he went, brief messages from him shifting the blame on to me everything’s always my fault, I opened up to him a few nights ago and again he said I love you but I can’t live thinking you’ll keep throwing me out, no apology for the mental torture I’ve had to endure for months because cocaine makes him so paranoid and insecure. Haven’t heard a thing from him and he usually makes peace once he’s come down, maybe he’s still high or maybe he’s just not bothered about what he’s done to me and my family, hope your both okay, sorry to latch on to your conversation I just needed to vent I’m absolutely heartbroken ???? x

[beth2020]

Hey! Don’t be silly it helps so much to rant, and I feel when I get anxious and worried this is the perfect place! It’s so tough because your going through a heartbreak that you don’t want, you might not feel strong but you definitely have been to stick your grounds! I had similar situation with my ex he came saw me three weeks after we broke up was crying about how he wanted to make me proud and get better then a couple days later was asking for money (you can guess what for!) then when I refused started ignoring me calling me names, blocked me, I think he’s got with another girl out of spite but you know what between the forum and my friends I keep reminding myself it will be ok and we’ve got this, so heartbreaking to see someone you love go through this. How long where you together and do you have your friends and family to support and talk to? Message any time!

[madge101]

I don’t have anyone but him ???? the sad thing is he’s just contacted me tonight declaring his love and I’m not strong enough to tell him where to go, my mood has been so low I’ve been looking for a way out and all I want to do is throw my arms around him I wish I could hate him but I can’t x

[beth2020]

What did he say? I can 100% relate to the low moods, maybe take time to think before you reply to him? Watch your favourite movie do a face mask tonight, sometimes I find the mediation apps calm me when I feel horrible do a little self love! I get what you mean about the telling him where to go because I say this but all I would love is for my ex to message and say he’s sorry but for now I need to put myself first because the past couple of months have been about him and not me, sorry I didn’t ask how long have you known he has a problem now? Is he getting help now?

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