[boatmad]

Hi,

Thanks for letting me join.

My partner has been drinking heavily for years and it became worse over the lockdowns. Xmas day he really wiped himself out and scared himself. I didn’t step in this time and it allowed him to realise what he was doing. So he cut down and stopped for 5 weeks. He had 2 bottles of wine in 2 days (lots less than before), but then the gloom had landed over him. The self pity he goes through is awful. He blames my son and myself for being critical of his drinking before (we said nothing about his drinking except he knows himself if he is overdoing it, it’s his own responsibility now I am not taking it on) BUT I feel guilty and anxious again. I don’t see how we can move forward unless he realises it’s him bringing this on not anyone else. He is aggressive when drunk and always threatens our grown up son.

I don’t know how much more I can cope with but have no where to go and don’t know how to move out from a marriage of 33 years. We’ve been together for 40.

How do people manage to move out when have no money to pay for rent till the house is sold please?

How do people cope with someone deflecting their guilt onto their partner and family please?

Thanks.

[Author]

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