[kathleen77]

My partner and I have been together for about a year. I believe him to be an alcoholic. He admits there is an issue with drinking and is working on it.

My biggest concern currently is that he lies about drinking. We’ve talked about this many times and I’ve asked him to be up front about when he drinks. While he is some of the times but I’m still finding empty bottles around the house. And there have been times when I can tell he’s been drinking but he still lies and says he hasn’t.

He’s asked me to be patient with him around this and knows it needs to be addressed. in his previous relationships he felt he was forced to hide it so that there wasn’t a fight around.

Is it reasonable of me to expect that he will not lie about his drinking? I don’t know how to address this, if at all. I’m tempted to leave the relationship but there are many other good things about who we are together.

He is in the process of finding a therapist. What is the best way to support him without being enabling or codependent? Any advice would be helpful..

[ka123]

Hi,

I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this!

I personally do not think it’s unreasonable at all to expect honesty from a partner when someone is dishonest we feel very betrayed.

I’m glad you have approached this topic with him. It’s in his hands now to be honest with you. He cant paint this relationship with the same brush as his previous ones . You are entitled to have a boundary around this so my only advice would be to remain firm with him.

Xx

[ng06]

I’m living in similar circumstances! It’s so difficult, I’ve been with my partner for 14 years this year and we have a little one now.. he’s been hiding his alcohol dependency and things have more come to a head and he is seeking help, I hope your partner does too.

The drinking being hidden and the lies of saying he wasn’t drinking really began to get to me. Honesty is so important and well done for raising that with him, my advice is he needs to want to own this and seek help, but you also need to remain strong and continue to ask when you think he’s been drinking and offer some form of support in asking what you can do to help him, get help xx

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