[anon1987]

Hi everyone,

I’m married to a cocaine addict who is in recovery and has doing pretty well for the last few months. I thought I would get to a better place mentally with time but I’m really not improving. My emotions are all over the place and my head still lives in the time where he was using all the time, stealing money etc- not sure if that makes sense. I’m still always on edge, checking where he is, checking bank apps etc.

I guess I’ve got to the point where I accept I might need some help with my mental health but in the whole 3/4 years it’s been going on I’ve not spoken to anyone about his addiction (except on here). It feels huge and scary to talk to someone about it. Where do I start? Has anyone got experiences of how they took the first step?

Thanks

X

[lookingforhope]

Hi there!

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this. Your story really resonates with me, as, like you, I am living with someone in early recovery. Initially when I found out about his hidden cocaine use, I contacted Adfam and they arranged for me to speak to someone via Zoom. This was a massive help as I had somewhere safe to vent my feelings towards my partner without it all coming out in pent up anger and frustration with the whole situation.

I also found a drug specialist therapist and we attend couples therapy together, so that when I do have things that he needs to hear or that I need to say, we can do it in a safe place for both of us. It also helps to hear that your feelings are valid, I think both for me to hear and my partner to hear too.

I hope this helps, and that you do reach out and get some help for yourself. It is so hard to deal with the reality of addiction and recovery too… looking after yourself has to be a priority

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