[debc]

Hi, JennaKS,

Welcome to the Forum and it is the right place to come and share your story with lots of people in similar situations.

Your partner needs to get on some of the on line meetings for AA, CA etc, if he really does want to give up everything. He has to want to do it for himself, and he doesn’t have to talk, he can just listen.

Try and persuade him to go to the Doctors, at least it’s a starting point and would show you he really wants help.

Keep in touch on here and look after yourself as well.

Take care.

Dx

[jennaks]

Thank you for the advice.

Again I’m at a loss, my partner handed over all his bank cards so he couldn’t spend then yesterday evening when I was at work he told me he’d used again. He hadn’t lasted a week and I feel so cheated by him. He said he felt guilty the moment he did the first line.

He deleted the dealers number from his phone and told me he feels like a failure.

I want him to see the GP cause he’s also clearly depressed but when I mentioned this he said the GP won’t do anything.

I spent most of the night crying and just feel at a total loss. I just don’t know what to do.

[debc]

Hi JennaKS,

It’s so hard living with an addict, and the trouble is the dealers will let them have the cocaine on tick (I think that’s what they call it), and this racks up the debt even more, it really is a viscous circle. I don’t about your Town, but you can get I everywhere where I live.

Addicts are very manipulative and even now after years of it with my Son, he still manages to do it to me, then I feel like kicking myself for being so taken in yet again.

Take care of you.

Dx

[leedsjlc]

Hi JennaKS,

I am so sorry for you going through all of this.

I have been going through similar with my wife for 2 and a half years and trust me when I say that removing the accessibility to money doesn’t cure this situation. And as a previous post has mentioned, addicts are master manipulators, so you cannot take what is said at face value. My wife deleted all the dealers numbers, but she didn’t screw up the scraps of paper, the notebook with the numbers in, the social media friends who were in that scene, so it made zero difference. If they want it they will get it.

I went through a really hard time trying to protect my children from this whilst dealing with the situation as well as working full time etc, and i kept everything to myself and thought I could cope, but that was the biggest mistake. Once I opened up and got support (from here, private counselling, family etc) it made the whole situation much more manageable and even though every day is still a fight I find my ability to cope with it is far enhanced.

There are support mechanisms for addicts out there, and they must go to their GP to get a referral, but they have to be wanting it 100% otherwise it doesn’t work. I would push for that because if your partner really wants help, its the quickest and easiest route to it.

Main thing, don’t blame yourself, don’t feel guilty for getting support and ensure your health and wellbeing are paramount. Don’t stop doing things you would have before, whether that be the gym, watching films, socialising, whatever it is, keep been you and realise you are strong enough to get through this.

Take care and good luck.

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