[vmac123]

Anyone else notice that their addict can do fine for a while (mine can do 2/3 weeks) but when payday comes he’s straight out buying loads of booze and drink driving! I am just wondering if this is a common thing… I need some space to chat. This week has been tough!

[fullmoon]

Yes absolutely. I dread the end of the month as I know whats coming on payday. Sorry to hear you are experiencing the same.

[vmac123]

I’m starting to dread most days. Today, his car broke so he borrowed mine as I’m working from home. Fine. He then stopped after work to get a drink then drove my car. Not fine. He finally admitted it because I clocked it straight away. I know all the websites say to detach and try to control your reaction because you can’t control their addiction but today I just can’t stop myself feeling so mad! I don’t want to talk to him or be in the same room. I love him but I don’t know how much longer this can go on. He’ll be full of apologies tomorrow but they’re just words. He will do it again. I feel like I’m just trapped in this endless cycle

[fullmoon]

Im so sorry!! I completely understand the feeling of being so angry you want to scream and dont want to be in the same room. Im also so sick and tired of the waiting for him to come home and apologise. It gets harder and harder to swallow your anger each time. Youve genuinely summarised how I feel so well.

Today everything is great but only two nights ago I was sat here crying after I realised hed stolen 50 from my handbag to go and buy cocaine. Now is the calm apologetic time. Everything will be fine until its not again. Im here trying to solve all his problems again and paying for everything until his payday comes.. and hence the dread because I genuinely need him to pay me back what he owes me (usually 500 by the end of every month) in order to survive.

Im really sorry. Sending you a big hug.

I wish I could make it better for you but always here if you need someone to listen. Xx

[Author]

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