[srm21]

Hey. Im not sure if this is the right place to post but I just needed to say it to someone and seek some advice! I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant expecting our second child, and my partner has an alcohol problem. He doesn’t feel he has a problem, but he drinks 1-2 bottles of wine at least 5-6 nights of the week with additional spirits at times. He always drinks in the evening and never during the day, is able to maintain a normal job and for all outside eyes appears healthy and nobody would guess he does this.

Our toddler is 16 months old and he has done this pretty much from my last pregnancy. I guess I just feel very alone and am scared not only of his health and our relationship (which is otherwise perfect) but that im going to be caring for our new baby largely alone again and also with our toddler to care for too. I need him to step up. He doesn’t feel he has an issue but clearly there is one. Anytime I approach it he dismisses it. What can I say, or do, or how can I help him snap out of this?

Thanks for listening.

[81splaj]

Sorry to read your post. I am in a similar position but much further down the line. Married to a functional Alcoholic for 30 years. This has become more of problem as the years went by and as our only child grew older he started to become more aware of this situation so this is something you have to consider too. Because it causes us no work/financial problems it’s really hard to address. Eventually I decided to leave and that did bring around a whole conversation and realisation that wasn’t there before and we did get it under control but unfortunately Covid has taken things right back to where they were. I hope you find your way thro this.

[cathj]

I feel for you. I have a 14 month old. I found out I was pregnant at the start of the pandemic, my husband had always been a drinker and dabbled with occasional drugs.. but telling him I was pregnant made things escalate.

I am severely sleep deprived, and as I’ve gone back to work full time my anxiety is through the roof.

The drinking isn’t what bothers me, it’s the hangovers. I HATE the hangovers, he stays in bed all day, started to become late for work and recent bloods have suggested the start of liver damage. When I see him drink my anxiety is awful.

I’m very much considering leaving him, but it’s so hard. I keep giving him 2nd chances. I don’t know what to do anymore.

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