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What a terrible shock for you, secret drinking is probably the worst sort of drinking as you need to find someone actually drinking to know they are. I don’t blame you for going through her phone, there is nothing wrong with this, you are just looking for some clarification on the situation. I think the only way to check in is to go over more often and build up a picture. You are in a difficult position, doing nothing isn’t helpful but tackling her is going to be tough. I would try and find out why she is drinking, is there a trigger at all. There is a theory that people self medicate when they are not fulfilling the normal needs of a human being. There are around 9 needs and they are things like intimacy, privacy, attention, having a purpose, being recognised and a few other things. She may be struggling with something that hasn’t been obvious and she has started drinking to block it out
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