[lindyloo]

Hi takingit easy

I wanted you to know that you are being listened to. I am also new to the forum. These addictions are so cruel. Not only do they affect the user very badly and messes with their thought process but it has a terrible effect on family members and loved ones. I’ve read the other stories too, which are similar to mine, in that my adult son has alcohol and drug addictions. My husband and I are worn out with it all. It’s such a cycle and it’s exhausting for all involved. But at the end of the day they are making these choices, we really need to take care of ourselves. This can be difficult, as you feel you should be helping them. Take all the advice and support available do some meditation and practice mindfulness. It does help you to switch off a bit.

[takingiteasy]

Thank you so so much for your kind words and “I wanted you to know that you are being listened to” has brought tears to my eyes…Thank you so so much you don’t know how much I needed to hear that. I really do understand you both feeling worn out and you are so right about that cycle 🙁

[lindyloo]

You’re welcome, people do care you know! I’m lucky I have a couple of close friends who I confide in. I haven’t told my own family about my son, I know they would worry about me and my anxiety.

[takingiteasy]

It is definitely something I am learning to open up about it. I think it was something I needed to be honest with myself first.

And after reading your reply, I sat down and thought how hard it must be for you both when it’s your son.

I can’t even imagine your pain and anxiety has controlled my life the past 6-7 months.

Thank you so much for being open and so kind

[kel1]

Good afternoon,

Reading your story made me really sad, sad that someone can treat another human being so very very badly. I’m sorry you’ve had to endure this pain for so long and I hope you can begin to heal now. Someone once told me “it’s not the wound that hurts the most, but the healing”. But heal we must.

I totally can relate to PTSD because I too suffer from this now. I agree with the other comment, addiction just absolutely destroys everything and everyone in it’s path! My now ex treated me so badly that when I think back I literally feel the pain in my chest! It’s such physical pain and so very traumatic. I’m eight months down the line and I’m still struggling to come to terms with how I was treated. I too was blamed which made things worse as I started to believe I was to blame. I had to heal from this also and still am working on it. The thing is there is so many layers to trauma, the treatment and all the rest of it that sometimes I don’t know where to start. I think that’s probably why I have PTSD because it all comes out in night terrors and panic.

You hold onto your self because you are worth it and you are enough and now you are safe. You keep healing and pushing forward and talking. Whatever gets you back to you. X

[takingiteasy]

Thank you so so much for your reply.

It is really hard to hear that, but yes she did treat me badly.

And such a perfect way to describe it “it’s not the wound that hurts the most, but the healing”. But heal we must.

The night times are the worst for me 2 but the morning especially after a bad attack I do feel lucky to be alive which is a huge improvement.

Addiction is so destructive and I often sat there and thought to myself why can’t she just stop but I know it isn’t that simple.

I am learning though that sometimes walking away is the kindest thing you can do for someone. It’s not right for every situation but I know for mine that it is.

and thank you so much for this “You hold onto your self because you are worth it and you are enough and now you are safe. You keep healing and pushing forward and talking. Whatever gets you back to you. X”

Both of your responses have me crying but not because you have upset me just because It’s nice to hear something positive about myself.

[kel1]

We’re all here for you and it’s good to connect with others that have shared experiences.

Addiction is so destructive you’ve got that right, I very nearly destroyed myself allowing the situation to continue for so long.

Night times are challenging and mornings used to be so bad for me, but over time it’s got less painful and easier to manage.

Walking away from anything that hurts you will be the kindest thing you can do for yourself.

[lindyloo]

I am happy that Kel1 and I have been able to help you. It’s so difficult as you feel that you are alone and can’t talk about things for fear of being judged.

It’s comforting to know that there are many others out there who are in the same position. We can be here for each other and be strong too. Take each day as it comes and enjoy the little things that make you happy. Take care Lxx

[takingiteasy]

Thank you both for taking time out of your day to reply. I really do appreciate it 🙂

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