[deanc001]

I am exhausted. My life is in tatters. I have debts of £40k. I keep ignoring all the letters and phone calls chasing money as I can not face up to admitting that I have been subject to emotional and financial abuse due to my partner’s addiction. I told my partner last night after he ‘pursuaded’ me to give him some more money for drugs that our relationship was over. I love him but this can’t go on. I’m wondering what today will bring? I just want him to do the decent thing, pack a bag and go but I need to be strong too as he’ll be living on the streets once he leaves here and I feel guilty about that but I can’t cope anymore. He can’t keep any of the promises he makes and he doesn’t or can’t respect me. He’s on 100ml of Methadone daily and is hoping to go to a detox facility but I don’t know how soon this will be. Since meeting my partner a year ago I’ve lost my family as my partner takes up all of my time and energy and a £37k a year job. I’m now a Carer but have been off work since the end of June as myself and my partner tested positive for COVID 19. I’ve been clear for the last 2 weeks but my partner is still positive so I can’t go back to work. I’ve now had to claim Universal Credit. I have no money and we have been living off food parcels for the last couple of months. My partner has been an addict for 14 years. He’s sick of his life and the addiction but he can’t overcome it. He’s attempted suicide in the past, twice in front of me and I’m fearful that he’ll end his life when he leaves and I don’t know how I’ll live with that. I do love him and I know he loves me but I can’t see a way forward for us to together.

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