[cathsp]

I have been having a difficult time coping with my emotions at this time

A young person I know mother died last week in a hostel. She was just 36.

It has left me feeling shocked and that it is a bit to close for comfort.

It has not help that I have spent the last 4 weeks regretting that he is back in the home/community. And had been secretly wishing that either his care team would recall him or that he would go live in supported accommodation.

I feel terrible and some what trapped!

My son has relapse after nearly 2 years. He has complex health needs and a care team around him too.

He is back taking opiates and is completely de-motivated.

I dont think he has a relapse preventative plan or support in that area. And for now i will not contact his MHO to discuss………… (My default position of coping is to blame professionals or imply they are incompetent at the very least)

He has only be back in the community since 28 March and he has taken opiates everyday now since 30 May.

I would appreciate any advice, kind words, direction or guidance especially on the topic of relapse and how to deal with it from a mother/carer point of view would be greatly appreciated

[whiteheather]

Hi Cathsp – so sorry to hear of your situation – I too am a Mum of a drug user and it is so hard – I’ve not got any words of wisdom – just send love and strength to you to carry on x

[cathsp]

thank you lucky white heather for reaching out.

And I accept all the love and strength you are sending Me

With gratitude and right back at you 🙂

[bt1978]

Hi cath

Firstly sorry you are having to go through this, and well done for reaching out.

Could I ask for a bit more information on his additional needs and also what opiates? This isnt to be nosey or cause you further distress, knowing it will help me ascertain what I found helpful

Hope you can post soon

[cathsp]

He has physical and learning disabilities. He receives a depo due to Drug induced mental health issues. He is taking opiates and diazepam.

I have just courageously text a health worker to ask if he has a substance/ addiction support plan and could it be escalated due him clearly relapsing.

Hope this helps to answer your question

And thank you for responding

[bt1978]

Hey Cath

Thank you.

What you are doing is very courageous indeed, his physical and mental conditions will add a layer of complexity to things for sure, but there is still hope and alot of support oit there, its finding it that is the hard part.

In your opinion does he recognise these issues or do you think he is still too enmeshed in it to see?

[cathsp]

he does recognise them but there is nothing else in place. He has agreed to engage with services but that is yet to be seen.

The biggest issue I have is the lack of joined up working or planning.

And I am a rescuer and it actually pains me in the pit of my stomach to sit back and wait and wait and wait……whilst my son is going down the tubes.

[bt1978]

Would he consider NA meetings? He can do them online right now, identifying with others on the same boat is huge plus he wont have the social anxiety of meeting as it’s all done though zoom. Could well be worth an hour and half of his time

[cathsp]

Is there somewhere online he cud join asap?

Do you or someone else know a relapse/recovery service that is taking newbies ?

I thought they are only supporting people that already working with

[bt1978]

Hey Cath

NA (narcotics anon) have been super organised during lockdown. If you google na meetings uk it will take you to their website. On there it wilm have a list of local online meetings in the uk. All you need is the zoom app on a phone , iPad or PC – it’s free to sign up. On the meeting finder you out in the day of the week and tons of meetings all over the UK come up organised by time. They are on all day every day. Click the link and you will be let into the meeting. He can sit and observe.

The only thing I’ll say is have an open mind and do a few of them as sooner or later it will resonate and he will identify

[cathsp]

Thank you I will google now

Cheers

[cathsp]

You just answered my son and I prays brillant advice so here hoping !

Thank you so much ????

[bt1978]

No problem.. beauty of being online is you can sit and observe and dont have to worry about social anxiety

Every meeting is different. Give them time and you will find one that works

Good luck

[cathsp]

Relapse

I link my son up with Relapse programme and he hung up.

I am extremely disappointed I can see more of his drug behaviour coming back etc

Any advice anyone ?

[bt1978]

Hey cath

Did he try the NA meetings online?

[cathsp]

No he was very non- commital about the service online or otherwise unfortunately

Do you think I could just link it up online and continue to support him.

I did not want to do that as thought it might be ethically wrong but honest never done anything like myself so don’t know what to expect.

Could you advise pls

[bt1978]

Hey

NA is all online at the moment. In my view far easier for someone new as they dont have to walk in to a meeting which can be terrifying. He can sit with the camera off if he likes.

The meeting will be full of other addicts and therefore people who know what it’s like, and at all different stages of recovery.

[cathsp]

Relapse

I have linked him up to a zoom meeting right now. Fingers crossed

[bt1978]

Good luck cath.

It’s such a difficult one during lockdown, you cant more anywhere and services are closed. Those meetings are on all day every day, anonymous and he doesn’t even have to show his face. Just have an open mind and see if he can get some identification.

Good luck!

[cathsp]

Hello Folks

I have just found 11 empty packages of paracetamol and Annadin extra in my son room. Apparently for a headache!!!!!!

He is always drowsy and looks out of it.

I am aware that if these tablets are taken with opiates it boosts the hit?

Does anyone have any views/ thoughts ?

[bt1978]

Hey cath

Not cyber stalking, was replying to someone else and saw a notification come up!

Are these just regular over the counter pain meds – no codeine?

I have experience abusing painkillers bit didn’t think these ones had any opiates in them. In fact all they are good for is the odd headache or mild pain. They shouldn’t make you feel out of it – unsure of mixed it accelerates any highs, then again who knows? If he looks out of it likely he has taken something else.

That said elevywn packets is a ton of rubbish to be putting into your system and is a worry

Any ideas if it’s anything else?

[cathsp]

He was addicted to opiates and paracetamol and/ or anadin extra will boost a opiate.

He will be up to no good for sure. 11 empty packets each containing 16 tabs in each packet!

[bt1978]

Hmmm.

Trust your instincts here. That definitely isn’t right regardless.

Have you found anything else ?

Honestly the filling agents alone in those tablets are poison taken in that quantity

[cathsp]

I am sure a thorough search will reveal more but I am sick ???? of the sight of him right now to be honest

Thanks it’s so good to have this forum I don’t feel alone

[bt1978]

Keep posting. I hope he is ok

[cathsp]

He’s out of it. it’s me that needs the sedative tonight.

Thanks

[Author]

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