[bird101]

Hi everyone

1 year ago my partner went into rehab for cocaine and alcohol abuse.

I have been with him for 3 years I am hoping to move in with him but I have just found out he is once again drinking I don’t think there is any drugs involved but I can’t be sure and this having a massive effect on our relationship.

Prior to rehab he was a control freak and extremely paranoid I have had the police called outside my house where he has been shouting and screaming at me. There are many stories like this

I was so close to a breakdown.

Now he is drinking again I see small glimpses of what was before and although I want our relationship to work I’m scared he is going to go back to what he was before.

I have asked him to seek help and he says he doesn’t need it he has spoken enough.

I starting to feel extremely anxious and stressed about it all and I don’t know what to do?

Any advice would be great

[lindyloo]

Hi Bird

I’m sorry to hear of your anguish with your partner. It’s very difficult to be around a loved one who has an addiction.

I think when they’ve been clean for a bit, you get lured into a false sense of security.

When my son was attending aa and ca meetings, he was clean for 3 months. My husband and I thought that was it….cured. I didn’t realise that they can relapse several times.

The answer for him is complete abstinence from alcohol, cos that leads to cocaine, then the debts build up. He takes time off work and looks to us for food , cigs petrol etc. He only works to pay off his debts, his wage is spent before he gets it!

It begins and ends with the addict ….he’s got to WANT to stop it himself. Doesn’t matter what you say or try to do, its an illness that affects the way they think, which is not logical . The addiction makes them selfish and numb to other peoples feelings.

I would suggest you get more support and advice, and put yourself and your happiness first.

I wish you well, God bless Lx

[bird101]

Thank you so much ????

I completely got lured into a false hope that it would all stop.

But the drinking is back

I don’t think he wants help as he doesn’t seem to think it’s a issue which I’m finding very difficult.

It’s hard when your in this situation you love them and when they aren’t drinking or taking drugs you see a completely different loving side.

It’s hard…

I definitely need some support

My family and friends have no idea why I stay with him.

They don’t even want to hear his name anymore so that’s even harder for me.

Thank you for your reply I really appreciate it x

[icarus-trust]

Hi

Thank you for posting and sharing your story.

Please contact us at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports people who are badly affected by their partner’s addition. We know how difficult this can be and we have specially trained people who you could talk with. They are very experienced and, maybe talking with one of them might help you feel less stressed, anxious and able to find a way ahead.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

All the best to you.

[Author]

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