[georgia26]

My husband of a year went through a bad time losing his kids etc and he found himself drinking regularly for about a year, he suffers from anxiety and i think he sort of ‘self medicated’ after the bad time he went through, when we met i noticed his drinking habits and told him i thought he binge drinked and he did agree, he stopped drinking but it didnt last at all for a week – he could go for 8 weeks without then he would have a huge binge – after the 6/7th time he knew it was time to get help, so he now goes to a support group and does relapse prevention and also counselling but he is still relapsing after about 4 weeks, he will sniff coke and just hit the self destruct button, i get so so angry and upset by the broken promises, the problem is he gets seriously mentally unwell if he drinks or takes drugs, it seems to make his anxiety so much worse.. its so hard to deal with, his support group tell him that i should be being supportive when he relapses and that i shouldnt be getting angry but I cant help it i need to learn to breathe and say the right things.. I am really struggling with it, i worry when he leaves the house, it doesnt help that all of his friends are idiots that influence him to drink/take drugs – i know he isnt a full blown alcoholic/addict – but i know he has issues.. do i get help? how do i stop being so angry when he lets me down every month? its like a punch in the gut – he does call me and says ‘i have a confession’ every time it happens, he doesnt try to hide it – if i shout at him though it has the reverse affect and he hits self destruct and doesnt come home and drinks and stays out i spose he doesnt want to face me. We are both still quite young and i guess i am thinking is this going to be my life forever? is it worth sticking around for… he says once his councelling helps his mental health he will be able to control it more but i dont hold my breath, i totally feel like the trust is gone and this will continue to happen..

[icarus-trust]

Hi Georgia,

I can see from your post just how much you are struggling to cope with your husband’s drinking and drug taking which is not easy to deal with. It really sounds like you could do with some help for yourself and I wonder if you would like to contact us at The Icarus Trust.

We are a charity that provides support for people dealing with the addictions of a family member or friend. We know how hard it is to be in your situation and if you contact us you could be assigned to one of our experienced trained people. You could talk with them in confidence and that might help you make sense of your feelings and decide what to do next.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

I hope this is helpful. good luck.

[danman83]

Ive been doing the same as your husband but not as much drinking.. everytime i have a beer i have to get coke… and its happening like once a month.. i say exactly to my gf about i need you to help me not scream at me. But at the end of the day its my fault and im going to lose my kids and gf. So im on my last chance now. Drinking leads to coke. So he needs not to drink really. I know how u feel because i see it on my gf face. Ive let her down so many times. And i asked is it an addiction because its on once a month.. but my councillor said yes.. because u keep going back to it.

[georgia26]

Thanks Dan, I have read through some of your posts and I really appreciate the advice from the other side I guess. He does the same as you, once a month.. he doesnt think its a problem as such, he said its an anxiety release from a build up. He is going to support groups and his counselling starts this month – did the counselling help you? what counselling do you do? it sounds similar to what youre going through with your GF at the moment, I have told him I will leave him, he cant help it either I dont think, its so hard to understand when youre not addicted to anything yourself – I havent even been addicted to a cigarette before so its hard to relate.. I feel so helpless I cant see no end, my anxiety and trust issues around this are beginning to worry me

[georgia26]

also, he has the most addicted personality – even with coffee he is addicted and cant go without, its like a stimulant addiction, if there is such a thing.

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