- This topic has 14 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 4 months ago by lainey.
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April 5, 2020 at 11:50 pm #5743kjuParticipant
my son started using weed at 14 I had the battle of my life to stop him and eventually after 1.5 years he stopped . He was on a £140 wk habit lost his education had no future . He managed 9months clear got himself set on an apprenticeship and started to sort his life .But it’s back , he has gone back and is more openly obvious about it even using in my home . I have two younger children that this is affecting and I’m a single mum absolutely at breaking point I physically and emotionally can’t do this again I’m so so scared , his attitude towards it being only a plant when it has completely screwed up his mental health scares me this time . I feel so alone and so so scared .
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April 20, 2020 at 8:06 pm #16436n47Participant
So sorry for you, I know how you feel as a single mum I’ve had similar experience with my son. It’s so hard, but you’re not the only parent to experience this so I hope that makes you feel less alone. It’s such a scary thing for us but I’ve started to realise that I’ve done what I can for my son, he’s 20 now and has to make his own life choices and deal with the consequences. It’s horrible holding it all together alone though isn’t it xx
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April 20, 2020 at 10:47 pm #16440kjuParticipant
I have found out today he is also dealing I’m so so angry disgusted and ashamed of him . I’m so low and trying to hold it together for my other two . I don’t think I have ever been more angry in my life
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April 21, 2020 at 7:11 am #16444n47Participant
Oh no, the problem is they start smoking a lot and then they start selling to be able to afford their own habit. I’ve been awake most the night worrying about my son, I can’t cope either it’s too hard x
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April 21, 2020 at 9:54 am #16445kjuParticipant
I’m so sorry sometimes it’s just nice to talk to someone who actually understands, family try but they will never understand the gut renching feel constantly inside . I have forgotten how to feel happy , and I trust no one his first dealer was a blooming grandma!!!! Sending a big hug to get you through the day xx
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April 21, 2020 at 10:42 am #16446n47Participant
Yeah no one gets it, people just say “throw him out” but it’s not that easy when it’s your child and you feel so responsible, no matter what their age. Same here I just want to feel normal again the anxiety is crippling. Yeah it’s everywhere sadly, just pray our boys will make it through and big hugs to you too at least we know we’re not the only ones in this horrific situation xx
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April 21, 2020 at 11:58 am #16447kjuParticipant
Yes I get told that all the time as he damages my house . But that’s only moving the problem not resolving it . One of my children has said him or me if only it was that simple x
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April 23, 2020 at 9:11 pm #16452laineyParticipant
I have been reading these posts and I have posted something similar today, my son is 17 dropped out of school, no exams, not working and smoking weed, he has a 100 a week habbit or there abouts, demanding money and smashing up my home. It is affecting my home life, just not sure what to do. Should I talk to my GP about it. My eldest son doesnt go out any where he just smokes weed. He is aggressive and threatening regarding money. Its costing me a fortune but if I dont he destroys things. This is a terrible cycle to be in and it is never going to stop.
I am sorry to read such posts on here, it is very sad. The people who sell these drugs are to blame they get these youngsters hooked and pretend to be their friends.
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April 24, 2020 at 11:26 am #16454kjuParticipant
I’m so sorry to hear your story also . It’s heartbreaking. I have tried doctors , Camhs and adaction none worked . I believe they have to want to change . my son just thinks they are old idiots that don’t know how to have fun.
I believe the police are good at this age before they hit 18 ,but I have never been brave enough to report him .
It’s a painful living grief loosing the child you loved and watching this new one emerge . Keep strong and keep talking x
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April 27, 2020 at 6:44 pm #16466laineyParticipant
Its really bad they dont see the damage they are doing or the pain they are causing to themselves or their family. I have reported my son for damage to my home the police came and he has calmed down slightly but he still damages stuff. I am not sure what to do it cannot continue thought and action needs to be taken. However, it what sort of action and as you say they need to acknowledge they have an addiction and want to change.
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April 27, 2020 at 7:45 pm #16467kjuParticipant
I often feel the damage is a complete action of control , can’t get what they want hurt you in any way they can . My son is also very verbal he cuts to the bone with his tongue and knows it . At the moment I’m just letting him get on with it for the sake of my other two children . He is in charge of his own fate I believe there is no more that can be done . Keep positive x
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April 28, 2020 at 7:47 pm #16478laineyParticipant
I will try its affecting my younger son and this just cannot continue. He lies constantly, steels, and well it is not him at all.
x
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April 29, 2020 at 12:56 am #16480kjuParticipant
So tonight at 12.30 am , my whole house stinks of weed , it wakes my younger two , my middle child goes nuts and threatens to hit him , and blames me for him still living here . My youngest is in my bed because the shouting woke him . He does not care in the slightest just sits there filming us saying we are all mental . I don’t think my family are going to survive much more if this . I’m getting slowly more desperate
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May 1, 2020 at 4:31 pm #16508laineyParticipant
Gosh I read your post, I really feel for you, mine is bad and yes my son threatens to sort out the older one, but then you don’t want it to flare up. I spoke to social worker the other day and they said that what normally happens is the victims get fed up with it first before the perpetrator. I am hoping this is not the case and my son sorts his life out!
Weed they say is harmless, oh yes (not)! It affects the person and family like all drugs and alcohol. They will look back on this one day and really regret their decisions. It is damaging to all involved and expensive too!
I have tried various avenues for help and unless he refers himself they can do nothing!
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April 30, 2020 at 12:00 pm #16493icarus-trustParticipant
Hi,
I’m sorry to read what you are going through with your son’s addiction. I’m glad that you have found this site so you can talk with other’s who are experiencing the same things.
I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust. We offer support to the families of addicts.
If you would like to talk with one of our trained and experienced people please get in touch. Talking with one of them might help you to find a way forward, at least they would understand what you are going through.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the best to you.
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