[coffee0105]

I know addictions are diseases. And after they start to use the person becomes very selfish and self centred.

Was that person selfish in the first place to start to use? Because it surely didn’t become a disease until that person started to use and then couldn’t stop?

Once that person has been through rehab, and is still selfish and self centred and doesn’t think of anyone else at all. Still thinks that the world revolves around them. Is this still part of the illness or is this unfortunately just that persons personality?

I am really struggling with my sister being like this. So much so that it’s now making me unwell. Trying to support her, and do what she wants regardless of my own health. I’ve now had to pull back for my own sanity. But what I’ve noticed is now that I’ve pulled back, she’s stopped contacting me. I’ve also had to remove myself from social media as I find her posts embarrassing. She pours her life story out for all to see, talking about her addictions, and other really personal stuff. I find it hard to deal with, because I could text her, she would read and ignore and then never reply. Yet I would see on social media she had been really active. Pictures up of herself (wanting likes, and attention) and long pieces about personal stuff. But still no response. This is what I found hard and selfish. It’s almost like one or two addictions have been swapped for something else. As an addict they crave. She’s obviously craving this attention from social media. But won’t respond to family I.e me. It makes me feel unimportant and all the support I have given her over the years was just expected and unappreciated. At times i put myself out for her so much, it triggered relapses in my health problems.

Anyway sorry for the waffle. I’m not even sure this makes sense. Basically does addiction make a person selfish or is that the make up of that persons personality regardless?

Thank you

[danman83]

Personally i dont think so. Ive got a coke problem, been clean for 18 days so far. And so far so good. But i treat every one of my kids n gf before me. If they need clothes and that, but then again it depends how bad they are i would say.. id imagine heroin addicts would do out for some. Well they do near me. Sounds like shes just used u.

[coffee0105]

Yes. I think the trouble is she is so used to me and my mum always being there to pick her up and to do stuff for her, that now I’ve withdrawn that she’s making no effort. Sometimes I think it’s good to see that if you stop doing what you have always done, even contacting first, it’s interesting to see what happens…..nothing! I think she has the ‘poor me’ act going on. She’s lots of attention from those not emotionally involved. However family such as my brother, sister in law and myself are so deeply hurt by her selfishness and attitude towards is all.

Thanks for your reply and well done for staying clean 🙂

[hox]

My husband was never selfish before. He put my wellbeing first, did everything he could for me and I did the same for him. We were a team, inseparable. Nothing changed for fourteen years. Then came the cocaine. This has changed him. He is a completely different person now he on this. Selfish is an understatement he can be bloody evil too with his words. No one outside of these four walls would believe me if I told them the truth.

[coffee0105]

Yes I understand. My sister has been cruel with her words too. Horrid. I’m sorry to hear that you are suffering with his addiction and baring the brunt of it. Have you got any support? I believe you. Thank you for your reply 🙂

[hox]

I have a few close friends that I can confide in but I don’t tell them everything. I find being on here helps a hell of a lot. People that are going through the same thing can understand better. Plus I don’t have to hold anything back.

[coffee0105]

I don’t have anyone to talk to about it. I do talk to my mum but then I feel guilty as it’s not her fault. I can’t really talk to anyone about it as everyone has opinions and they don’t understand or listen. They don’t have the emotions attached to it as I do. I don’t really use this site, but I feel that I need to as I am harbouring a lot of anger towards her.

[sae1996]

Hello!

I agree with Hox. My Boyfriend is the kindest person ever when he’s sober but once he’s used no one else matters. It’s awful and scary how addictions have such a hold on people.

I hope things get better for you x

[hox]

I think my husband has done a lot of damage to himself. In body I can see the ailments. In mind it is worse, he now takes more than four or five lines each time he goes out, up to three times a week. His personality has changed drastically from one extreme being a wonderful husband to the other being selfish and arrogant.

[sae1996]

I know exactly what you mean – it’s absolutely heart breaking and it’s not even just when they’re using. It’s the aftermath of the come down, or when they’re struggling and go and get it. I’m finding it very hard to communicate and he will not talk to me about it. Just awful.

[Author]

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