[raidernation]

Alcohol has been a burden on my family for as long as I can remember. This poison in a bottle has caused havoc throughout my family; its broken marriages, burned bridges, and ultimately took my mother at the age of forty-one in 2009. Witnessing the path of destruction and the chaos it has left my family in, I made a promise to my family that I would never drink. As I got older, life’s problems made my promise hard to keep. My opinion changed and in a way it became my safe haven. I was slowly dipping my toes from the dock of sobriety into the deep waters of alcoholism. Before I knew it, I dove head first into my watery grave, which lead me to almost drown. I was drinking every day, divorced, and on the verge of being kicked out of the Army. Just like my mom, I was losing everything. My journey to sobriety began as abruptly as my journey into alcohol ended. On 15 May 2018 I wanted to break the cycle of alcoholism. This is my journey to climbing back up onto that dock and completing my first year of sobriety.

After my divorce, I moved into the barracks. Being alone for the first time in six years really took a toll on me. I drank around a bottle a day to sleep and to forget about how my life was going downhill. I got my kids every weekend so I was eligible to get an apartment. I was spending all my money on alcohol and child support so I could not afford rent at any half decent apartment complex. I jumped from friend’s house to friend’s house until I had overstayed my welcome. Two years of the same thing, moving in and moving out of friends’ houses and I ended up with no one. I stayed in my friend’s RV that he did not want to put into storage. I had drank at everyone’s house and became so belligerent I could not help with the dishes, take out the trash, and would rack up the electric bill due to my excessive Netflix binge watching. I now stood alone.

One night after I drank a bottle of Captain Morgan, my body began to hurt. My whole left side of my abdomen erupted with pain and I could not breathe, lay down, or sit up. I took myself to the hospital and they did not know what was going on. I was discharged at 2am, drank to calm my nerves and went to work. My little sister had found out what happened to me from my Dad. She screamed at me for what felt like a lifetime. I could hear the pain and sadness in every word that she spoke. “JT you are going to die just like mom.” “Promise me you are going to get help.” The next day I self-referred to ASAP (Army Substance Abuse Program) and went to rehab the next month.

As I arrive to rehab I could feel my body start to shake. I began to detox and knew I was in for a long thirty days. I got to make phone calls daily and the food was relatively edible. My first morning at Cedar Hills started off with me shuffling out to the nurse’s station to get my medication to stop shaking, take my vitals, and fill my cup with watered down black coffee. Conduct our morning check in and walk single file to the cafeteria. The next thirty days would consist of the same routine, day in and day out.

Upon completing rehab, I began to date. Unfortunately, I found disappointment after disappointment. Either the woman would not meet up with me because I did not drink or because they only wanted to go to the club. My dates would normally consist of the same mind numbing bad jokes or the awkward conversation about why I do not drink. All hope was lost until I found my sweetheart, Lisa. Our first date was playing miniature golf at Tower Lanes. When I explained why I do not drink, I was met with a look of concern and understanding. After a couple months of us dating she threw away all the alcohol in her house and said she supports my sobriety.

This past year has been filled with so many ups and downs. The first year of sobriety is usually the hardest and I believe that now. As for now I will take it one day at a time and continue my path to a sober lifestyle. My burnt bridges are rebuilt stronger than they were before. I will keep my promise I made to my family to not drink, and be a better father for my kids. I could write a Stephen King sized novel with all the road blocks we overcame while being together. My wife Lisa is the angel on my shoulder that helps dictate right from wrong and pushes me to achieve goals I did not dream of accomplishing a year ago. I now sit comfortably on the dock of sobriety that I once dangled off of. Life is getting better, and I have my first year of sobriety to thank because of it.

[debc]

Hi RaiderNation,

Welcome to the Forum.

I just want to say well done and keep going, you are doing really well. Your wife sounds amazing.

Take care.

Dx

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