[mgirl244]

So I need some advice on my boyfriend. We have been together for almost a year and right after the six month mark I discovered he had done cocaine our entire relationship and lied a lot. I had kind of had a feeling about it the whole time because I knew that some of his friends did it, but I refused to be around them. We moved back to his hometown in November where these friends were. He continued to hang out with them even though I told him it wasn’t a good idea, and I wasn’t personally comfortable with it. I had told him previously that as long as he told the truth I would try to help him as best as I could. There were two or three nights where he didn’t answer for really long periods of time, but after the first time he offered to take a drug test and passed. The third time he didn’t answer for almost 5 hours. I had originally been worried he had been in a car accident or something, but then his friend posted a video of him taking shots at a bar. I confronted him about it after he started answering, and he promised nothing happened. Several weeks later I was looking for something I had left in his car and found a blow straw and a small amount of loose cocaine in the center console. I told him about it, and he said that was from back in the old days and he must’ve forgotten to take it out. I offered to clean it up since I thought it could be a trigger, but he said he would do it. He won’t unadd any of his friends that do it or even his old friend that was a dealer because his friend claims he’s off of it. We are supposed to go home from college again soon, and he has mentioned hanging out with these friends again and refuses to listen when I tell him that could be dangerous to his sobriety. He’s been lying about really small dumb things. I don’t know what to do or think. Please help.

[mgirl244]

Oh and when we get in arguments he gets very mean and yells a lot, but I’m not sure if this is a sign or because that’s who he is. I have only known him on coke, which as I said I only found out about halfway through our relationship.

[danman83]

Hey there. Hope you are OK.

I’m just over 2month clean from coke, Im doing my best to stop and finally joined CA anonymous.

One of the main things you have to do to quit is to delete your dealers num. That’s the 1st thing u do. Even get a new num. I came off all social media. Deleted all friends and family numbers who use, and that’s just the 1st thing to do.

How old is he? He can’t be that old if he’s at college? He probably just needs to hit his rock bottom. But with him being young if he is, he probably doesn’t want to quit just yet. That’s just my opinion though. I could be wrong. He needs to want to quit for himself. You can’t have alcohol on coke as its the main trigger to get coke. Does he want to quit it?

[icarus-trust]

Hi

So sorry to read your post and see how upsetting and worrying your boyfriend’s coke habit is for you.

If you would like some help please contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports the families around people with addictions because we know how hard this can be. We have trained and experienced people we call Family Friends and you could talk with one of these if you get in touch.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

All the best to you.

[Author]

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