[kezmundo1]

Swabs confirmed there was cocaine all over the spare room. When I spoke to my husband about it I explained how much I love him and that I would support him through stopping. Of course he was angry at me for ‘snooping’ and ‘trying to ruin his life’ and the conversation ended with his taking some of his belongings and I’ve not seen him since. I desperately want to call him, text him, plead with him, tell him I hate him, tell him I love him etc etc. But what do I do? What works at getting them to choose their wife, kids, home, dogs, job, everything, over a quick buzz every couple of days?

[bt1978]

Your reaction is normal as its a shock, however his behaviour is typical of an addict that’s been rumbled as the cat is out of the bag and he can no longer use without people knowing. It’s the tipping point really.

Without being too harsh I can tell you now, unless he makes a serious commitment to stopping – thateans admitting he has an issue and doing something about it, this will likely carry on to the bitter end. I would urge you to think about the kids first and foremost, they don’t deserve to have their lives ruined.

Start by having a conversation again and informing him it’s no longer acceptable and he will ruin yours and the kids lives unless he gets help, and gage the reaction from there.

[luhorna]

My situation is different from yours , my boyfriend has issues with cocaine and has since I met him ..

I met him when I was vulnerable I had just come out of an 8 yr marriage with 3 kids .. I fell madly in love and I was naive about drugs really .. anyway the relationship has been a massive rollercoaster but when we had highs things were amazing.

I Love him to bits and so do my kids but when we had lows it was hell All the lies and the mood swings, but the lows were only ever when he’d been using ..So I soon realised what the problem was, he totally changes.

I ended things back in February but then took him back under the conditions he would accept regular drug tests and sort himself out.

We got back together and I did regular drug tests if needed with condition that if he took it again then he’ll be out which has just recently happened.

I’ve told him he has to move out get his own place, we can still be in a relationship he needs to make some big choice changes. At first he absolutely hated this and tried every attempt to manipulate even saying that he doesn’t care and was happy to end things… i remained strong and at one point was happy to walk away because I told myself I can’t go back to that life I’d rather be alone …

Basically I need to see if he wants us or drugs if he carries on using then then I’ve told him it won’t work Between us.

He’s accepted what I’ve said and we Are just gonna see how things go I still don’t know what I’m doing is the right thing but the main thing is the kids come first and that behaviour is not going to be around my children any more at least now if he messes up I can walk away without the children getting hurt.

So if I was you I would tell him to get his own place get himself sorted but you can’t have that behaviour around you. And the kids. It may give him the shock that he needs and sometimes that’s what Addicts need to realise their addiction, if he chooses not to, then you know that your life is never ever going to change.

Not sure on your situation regarding the house etc so maybe you need to contact a Local support group For advice incase he gets nasty xxx

[danman83]

He needs want to stop hims3lf

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