[lauren21-21]

I keep catching my boyfriend out lying to me about his drinking and drug taking. He excessively abuses both about 4 times a week. I go home to my parents once a week for work and I text him saying are you drinking, he assures me he isn’t. I then come home and he has disgarded evidence but he isn’t smart enough to cover all basis so I always find something, when I confront him he blames me and says he has to lie to me as I’m mental and not wired properly and that he wants a normal girlfriend, I try and tell him the lies are distrutive because now I feel like I’m loosing it and questioning everything he says. Someone help me I’m so alone

[abzgav]

I’m sorry that you feel so alone. I wish I could make you feel better but without being rude, I think you already know what situation you are in and you don’t need someone else to tell you something you already know.

How long have you been together and at the start did you partake with each other? The fact he tries to hide it shows he knows it’s an issue, sorry I cannot alleviate your worries, but please don’t feel lonely, here if you need to talk x

[lauren21-21]

Thank you for your message I appreciate it. We’ve been together a year now, when I first met him I knew he dabbled in coke but not the excessive drinking, he never drank in front of me. We moved in together and that’s when things changed. I don’t do drugs and don’t drink excessively or at home. After I confronted him last night for lying he kicked off and said he has to lie to me because I’m normal, after he screamed in my face he then went out and came back with more alcohol so last night all I could hear was him sniffing cocaine and drinking, I went into the kitchen this morning and found 4 bottles of prosecco and 7 beers so in three days he has consumed 12 bottles of prosecco and 11 beers. I’m frustrated with the lies when I try and tell him the lies don’t help my mental state he just shouts and calls me abusive things. Also I sense something else isn’t right, the house was left like I left it and he said he’d disgarded all the bottles on the way to work, now I know what the house looks like after he has been on one. Now I’m questioning everything, was he even here, did he have someone here and went on a savage clean up or did he try and cover his tracks and make the house look like I left it. My gut is telling me it isn’t right. I’ve tried asking him and he looses in and says I’m bipolar, mental, etc etc and he is going to get himself a normal girlfriend x

[bluebell]

Oh babe, seriously, I’d walk away. I know it seems harsh but i’ve been with my ex husband for 19 years, he always smoked weed and drank but the last 6/7 years he was doing coke, loads of it £40,000 debt when I found out and I have just seen the lovely man I knew disappear. We have 2 kids and I feel my life has been wasted these last 7 years. We got back together last year but it didn’t work as he lied again and in 5e end I gave an ultimatum and he chose the drugs. If your bf is like that now imagine what he will be like in 7 years. Walk away while you still can. The one consistent theme on this forum is that unless they want to change they will not and no amount of yelling and ultimatums will change that. I changed into a nervous controlling anxious wreck because of him. That is not who I am. He says all sorts of things to me, but actions speak louder than words. We are getting divorced, he doesn’t care any more, Coke makes them become arseholes. I think he is our living it large and doesn’t give a second thought to me any more. Don’t end up in my shoes. Sorry babe to be so blunt, but I wish I had the benefit of hindsight. I wouldn’t have chosen this for me and my boys. X

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