[brokenmum82]

The last 2 weeks have been hell, starting with the police knocking at our door carrying out a welfare check. It turns out that our son is using Cocaine and MDMA, and was having thoughts of self harm. We told him we’d support him to stop, but didn’t want him using or bringing drugs to our house. Today he just so happened to go out with a friend and she’d left her jacket here, I found a bag of off white powder in her pocket, and when they returned I gave her her jacket, told her what I thought of her and told her not to come near my house again, my son followed her and I’ve not heard from him since. Literally broken, feel like he’s ripped my heart out and stamped all over it. So hurt.

[danman83]

How old is your son?

I have a problem with coke and im lapsing every 3 to 4 weeks.

When you are coming down off coke it can make you suicidal and really really down, this is because you have used all your dopamine up from your brain, when on a high. And when the coke wears off u have none left and suicidal thoughts kick in. Dopamine is what makes us think happy thoughts and balanced.

Your son has to want to quit if you want him to stop. Its hard but there are a lot of ways to stop. One is no drinking alcohol as this is a main trigger for coke. And another is to delete all friends numbers and coke dealers who take coke.

There are so many people on coke now. Its in every pub, girls are as bad as lads on it aswell.

Its a nasty repetative circle being on coke.

Id just make your son aware of how bad it is, until he wants to stop himself.

[brokenmum82]

He is nearly 20, I know I need to allow him to make this decision to help himself, and that I don’t have the power to stop him. I am doing my best to make him aware of all the dangers, and have told him that I’ll be there for him when he chooses to leave that lifestyle behind. I can’t have that evil stuff around my younger son though, I feel like I’m stuck in the middle of the two of them, but my priority at the moment is the safety and security of my younger (minor) son.

[danman83]

I dont blame you. Just keep doing what you are doing. Todays society with cocaine and other drugs is mental. People sell it on snap chat now. Its crazy

[icarus-trust]

Hi,

Thanks for posting. I’m so sorry to hear about your son and how hurt you are feeling.

You sound really strong but if you do need any support, you may want to contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports people dealing with the effect of a family member’s drug or alcohol use. Please contact us if you would like to talk with one of our trained and experienced people.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

All the best.

[brokenmum82]

Thank you. I am pretty tough, but I’m running out of fight right now. I didn’t think I could ever feel so hurt, desolate and exhausted by my own child. I feel like somewhere I’ve failed even though the logical side of me tells me I educated my boys about the dangers of drugs and the absolute devastation they cause. It’s killing me. I may give you a call as I feel like my husband and I could do with some support with this. Thank you.

[icarus-trust]

Please do get in touch. You haven’t failed and you are doing your very best for both of your boys. Hopefully we can give both yourself and your husband some support in this difficult time for you.

Good luck.

[brokenmum82]

Ok so we’re nearly a year on from this post and I thought we’d turned a corner, but he’s met a new friend and has started treating us like dirt again , I can’t be certain it’s down to drug use, but the venom he had directed at me seems to be back. This time he stayed out all night (again) and didn’t let us know he was safe and then didn’t turn up to work the following day. I have bagged his clothes etc up and taken them to a flat that I guess he’s staying at. I have reached the end of my tether and can’t continue like this lying awake at night not knowing if he’s alive or dead. Even though when he came back home I set out my house rules clearly and this is a direct result of him disrespecting them, somehow I’m still in the wrong??? I feel like a punchbag for him.

[icarus-trust]

So sorry to hear this.

Don’t forget The Icarus Trust if you feel it would be helpful to talk with people who would understand what you are going through.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrst.org

All the best.

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