[dogslife]

My son’s in his early 20’s but from around the age of 16 he’s been getting into debt with local dealers – started off with cannabis now it’s cocaine. I’m separated from his Dad but his Dad has always paid it off in full for him. It started as £50, then over the years went from hundreds to thousands. I’m not financially in a position to pay anything off but it’s always been a horrible situation. My son is sorry and will stop and get help (we’ve all tried to get him it)- however I feel that he feels that with his Dad forever bailing him out, it’s easy to get back into debt as he will always have his Dad to turn to.

Recently his Dad arranged to pay back a debt of £20k which he was paying a significant amount monthly. However this dealer has been threatening towards them both and says it been run up to just over £40k now. They are threatening the extended families and I don’t know what to do. We do not have that kind of money, the whole situation feels off, my son is terrified to go to the police and refuses. I honestly don’t know where to turn but I am scared in my own house as the know where we live

[constantlyworried]

40k. My god. That is so much money. Surely you don’t have any choice other than the police. Really feel for you and your family. Think you should speak to the police for advice and protection. It seems like the situation is out of control and to run up a debt of that amount your son must be doing a lot of drugs. He needs to know that you do not have this kind of money and you have no choice other than the police.

[dogslife]

That’s what I think too deep down, he is terrified though and keeps saying he won’t speak to them, I am at a loss as to what to do

[lindyloo]

Hi Dogslife, thank you for sharing your story with us here. Its a good place to come and share your concerns and worries and support each other.

You will see that you’re not alone when you read the other posts. I wondered if you had read the Theresa thread- under the Share Your Story blue heading. We’re all mums with sons with addictions and everyone is so understanding and supportive.

Our sons are all at different stages their addiction and recovery. Most of our sons started in their teens and got deeper into addiction .

Drugfam and Icarus trust offer counselling services I believe too.

Please stay strong -confide in close friends find time for yourself

You are not to blame for this nor did you cause it. It’s down to the addict themselves to seek help.

Read Danman83 and Jamesb and Kulstar stories they are people in recovery offering support and advice too.

My 29yr son is 13mths into his recovery through seeking help from CA and AA groups. I hope this will give you some hope that he can turn his life around ????.

Sending love and prayers

Lx ❤️

[dogslife]

Thank you so much for reaching out. I’ve been going through the forums but mainly in the Drugs, Alcohol and Mental Health section but I will go and find these now. It is honestly such a worry and I do not know anyone else personally in this predicament, therefore I have been finding solace reading everyone else’s worries/concerns and journeys, in seeing I am not alone. It is such a constant sickening worry.

I am so pleased for your son and I wish him all the best, thank you so much for your reply I will go and find these now.

Take care

[ava123]

Hello,

My brother is in a similar situation running up thousands of pounds of drug debt for cocaine. Me and my mum and sister have been paying it but physically cannot anymore. My brother lies all the time so we never know the exact amount. It feels like a never ending circle where he keeps getting into debt. He has no money as he has just lost his job as well due to his cocaine use stopping him from being able to hold down a job. We are all out of our depth and it is a constant worry about what these dealers will do if they don’t get their money 🙁 I’ve thought about the police as well but I don’t know if it’s too dangerous informing them:(

[iconofsin]

Go to the police immediately!

Even if your son wont go to them you can go to them to tell them anything you know .

Even if they cant take action against the gang/dealer THEY HAVE A DUTY TO PROTECT ANYONE WHO MAY BE IN DANGER! but can only do this if they know about the problem.
If you don’t believe they can help you why not go to the police and explain the situation without giving names or other identifying details and explain that you want to know what they can do to keep you safe.

Frankly, even if you are rich enough to pay the current amounts being demanded at the rate which it is going up that will eventually change and paying will no longer be an option – what are you going to do then? agree to work for the dealer/gang because that could happen.

If I was ever in the situation of someone demanding I pay money that I personally do not owe under threat of violence I would go to the police immediately.

The only way I would even consider paying ( short of actually getting robbed ) is if it was a single debt for a small amount and that is purely because at that level the convivence of it is better than taking protection. As soon as the amount demanded was of any significance or there is any reason to believe that the amount demanded is made up ( fake robberies, added fees, added interest ect ) I would no even consider paying and go to the police.

Fortunately in this country we have a police force and the state does have a duty to protect people who are in significant danger which means you can draw the line if these things go to far.

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