[mum2sons]

My son is 28 and a cocaine addict. The addiction has been with him for 6 years but never seems to get any better and now I believe he is lost to his addiction. He had a partner and 2 gorgeous sons himself but is now alone and single. I’ve read all the advice about supporting him etc but I am now at the end of my tether and don’t want contact with him for the time being. He promises the world and never keeps to any of those promises and I feel that if his sons aren’t enough for him to stay clean then nothing will. He will readily admit he’s a addict but won’t do anything to help himself stay off the damn drug. His partner has stopped him seeing the boys even supervised which I know is hurting him but that’s a choice she has to make. I have constantly believed that one day he would have a light bulb moment and realise there’s more to life and I have held on to the belief he is so much better than this but this time I’m done. I feel I have nothing left in me to give him support. It has cost me thousands of pounds in one way or another and all my energy has been drained. My marriage is suffering and the only consolation I have is he still has a job but for how long. I don’t know where to turn or how to deal with this anymore.

[eddie123]

Hi there, this sounds like a very difficult situation for you and I am sorry. I know of a great charity that supports people like yourselves nationwide. The family support programme is all remote and they help many families a year. Please see link and fill in the referral and someone will endeavour to respond within 24 hours. https://adaptoxford.org.uk/the-icarus-programme/

[vivvief]

Hello Mum2sons, so sorry to hear about your son and what you are going through trying to support him, please know that most of us on this forum are going through or have gone through similar situations to you. You have to look after yourself first, easy to say, hard to do. Set your boundaries and try to keep to them. It is soul destroying watching someone you love just going down and down and hoping that they will realise that they have to stop whatever it is they are addicted to. However you can’t do it for him and making yourself ill with worry is not the answer, please try to look after yourself, marriage and job. I did this for fifty years with my brother and he is still an addict, I supported him financially, he lived with me and my family for many years over that time period and all I have done is take it all on my shoulders. I am trying really hard to stick to the advise that I have given you, but it is not easy.

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