[bertie84]

Hi all.. I’ve never reached out and it’s a bit long winded.

My partner had a big drug and alcohol addiction. So much so he hurt me physically in the past. He has faced the consequences and we haven’t been in touch for 6 months. 6 months of hell for us both. We connect in a way that no one can understand. It’s like we are addicted to each other. I no in my heart that we belong to each other it’s hard to explain 3 years in a little box. When we were together we were the only ones in the room.. even after everything I couldn’t imagine anyone else. It’s just him, since the minute we met.

Anyway we met up, he has been sober for 90+ days, he’s doing the 12 steps recovery and goes to meetings 4 times a week, meditates prays etc. He’s taking it very seriously. I know in my heart he’s seen the error of his ways and in an ideal life we would be together – obviously slowly.

I suppose I’m just after some advice from anyone that’s in this kind of situation. My family and friends will be so disappointed in me but I can’t help the way I feel.

[icarus-trust]

Thanks for posting. I can see that you are finding it hard to know what to do next and you might like to talk with someone who would understand how you are feeling.

if so please contact us at The Icarus Trust.

We are a charity that offers support to people dealing with the impact of another’s addiction. talking with one of our trained people might help you to see how to go forward.

You can contact The Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

Good luck.

[stillhopeful2019]

Hi Bertie. I posted something earlier but no one has replied ???? I am in a similar situation, my husband is my soulmate and deep down I know he doesnt want to be like this but his addiction is stronger than he thinks. He has tried to give it up by himself many times but he always relapses. My family want me to take the harsh approach and cut all contact with him to help him realise what he could lose but I cant seem to settle with that and find myself still trying to be there for him. I have moved out and have no intention of going back. I have told him he has a year to prove himself after which he can join us. I see he is trying but my friends and family disagree. Thing is I have a very close relationship with him and he tells me things which my family dont know about. When I try to explain to them how I feel he is making improvements they quickly knock that down and say sorry we dont believe he is trying hard enough. But I see the struggle he faces and want nothing more than to help him find the resources which can assist him. That’s all I can do, help guide him but ultimately I know he has to seek the help he needs. My family and friends are just looking out for me so I cant knock that but I just cant bring myself to put my foot down when I can clearly see he is upset as he feels abandoned. He acknowledges he needs to change and I wish I could be there to support him but will stay away and let him find his own way but be there for him to turn to whenever he needs me. Is there really anything wrong with that?

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